You’re in the first few months (or weeks) of dating someone. When you’re together, you can’t keep your hands off each other. When you’re not, you can’t stop thinking about them, fantasizing about them, talking about them.
That’s what we call the honeymoon phase or NRE (new relationship energy) – the sexual and romantic excitement that comes with a new connection. However, this feeling doesn’t last forever, and when it fades, your sex life is also likely to change.
If you’re in a somewhat new relationship and have felt your sex life shift after the honeymoon phase, read on for guidance to help you continue to deepen your relationship – and amp up your sex life.
Deepen intimacy outside of sex
As exciting as a new relationship can be, it can understandbly come with feeling of anxiety or uncertainty surrounding relationship expectations and if they’ll come to fruition or not. After the honeymoon phase ends is an opportunity to create the connection and relationship that you want.
Intimacy goes a lot deeper than sex. While that’s one component of it, intimacy refers to the level of closeness and emotional safety you feel with a person. Boosting overall intimacy will likely help you have a more fulfilling sex life where you’re better able to vocalize your needs.
Here are a few ways to do that:
- Connect over a shared passion like cooking, playing music, or hiking.
- Take turns massaging each other while communicating exactly where and how you want to be touched.
- Play a card game that’s designed to help you deepen intimacy like the “Create The Love Cards” by podcaster Mark Groves.
Explore new positions
As relationships progress, sex may not happen as often or may become repetitive. But just because you found a formula that works, doesn’t mean your exploration needs to stop there.
Sexual exploration can mean many things, but an easy to switch things up is with new sex positions. Try:
- Tantric sex positions
- Intimate and powerful sex positions
- Five straddling positions
- The lotus
- These positions that target the G-spot
Invest in a toy together
Another way to get out of a sexual rut is by bringing reinforcements into the bedroom. And by reinforcements, we mean a spicy new toy. While sex toys are often only thought of as a tool for masturbation, they’re also tools to enhance partnered sex for all parties involved.
Sex toys can deepen pleasure for both parties, make sex more accessible, and bring a fun and playful element into the bedroom. Don’t know where to start? Try:
Go on a “sexcation”
A great way to get to know each other better while also sparking up your sex life is to go on a “sexcation” – which is exactly what it sounds like. Some vacations revolve around scuba diving, going to plays, or trying new foods. While all of those are lovely, a sexcation focuses on creating moments for you and your partner to have intentional, sweet, and intimate sexual moments.
If this is a new relationship, this may be your first trip together, and you can learn a lot about someone even during a quick weekend trip. By creating space to focus on your intimacy, you’re both saying that this is a priority. A sex vacation is more than just a vacation, it’s about setting time aside to focus on your relationship, physically and emotionally.
Wondering how to make the most of your sexcation? We’ve got some tips for you:
- Set intentions about what you would like from this experience like “To slow down and learn more about your body” or “To start better communicating my needs and desires.”
- Create fun, lighthearted sexual goals like having sex on as many surfaces as possible in the place you’re staying.
- Have conversations around desires and fantasies that you may not always have time for in your day-to-day life.
Enjoy the ride
For many people, sex is one of the biggest components of a relationship, especially at the start. But dynamics change, and moving into a new stage in a relationship allows you to evolve in your sex life. The shift as new relationship novelty fades gives you the opportunity to intentionally deepen your connection and grow the relationship. The same goes for your sex life.
Remember that relationships can be a catalyst for growth, a deeper understanding of yourself, and immense amounts of pleasure. And this is just the beginning!
