Do you remember your first kiss? Was it during a game of Truth or Dare? Or maybe it was a cheeky Seven Minutes in Heaven that encouraged someone’s lips to be pressed against yours!
However your first kiss went down, it’s fair to say that the encounter was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Feeling someone’s tongue swirling around in your mouth, saliva swimming and shared between the two of you – it’s daunting and strange, but also kind of erotic.
And after that, making out becomes the staple of almost any first date, relationship, or marriage. It’s a sign of affection, intimacy, love, and lust.
But choosing the right time and the right kind of kiss can make all of the difference. It can transform your experience, and has the power to send a strong and passionate message.
How to Ace a First Kiss and Be an Excellent Kisser
If you’re still somewhat new to the game, or you’re looking for some additional tips to create sparks of magic during a kiss, here are some tricks to help you be an excellent kisser:
Eye Contact: Lock eyes with the one you’re hoping to smooch, generate a warm smile, and lean in slowly. If your partner mimics your sentiments, it’s probably a great time to go in for a kiss on a first date.
Slow and Steady: Sudden movements, especially during a first kiss, are generally not the way to go. Passionate, hungry kisses come with time and comfortability.
Hands: Be sure to keep your hands busy as not to appear nervous or uncomfortable. Gently caress your partner’s body, like cupping their face or touching their waist.
Take a Break: To create the element of desire, take a small break during your kiss. Pull back for a second, look into their eyes again and smile.
Finishing: When you’re ready to finish making out, give gentle pecks and slowly pull away. After, compliment your partner with things like, “That was perfect” or “That was fun”.
The chances of you having experienced a terrible kiss are high. You know, when someone shoves their tongue in your mouth and swirls it around without method or technique. And it’s safe to say that this type of kiss is usually met unfavourably.
Which is why, choosing the right moment and approach to using tongue is so important.
For a first kiss: You really don’t want to overdo it.
Start with gentle kisses that don’t involve tongue. If it feels right, and your partner is actively enjoying the sweet locking of lips, slowly introduce your tongue. Use teasing at times, and methodical rhythm at others.
It’s also important to work with your partner. Making out is like a dance…in your mouth. And it takes two to tango. Vibe off of your partner and you should both follow each other’s style to compliment one another.
Of course, these tips apply for non-first kisses and couples too. But we’d hope that, by now, you’ve got your technique down to perfection with the one you’re regularly kissing.
When Is The Right Time to Go For That First Kiss?
Going on a first date is nerve-wracking enough! So when it comes to the end of the date, it’s normal for anxiety levels to be high, wondering whether you should lean in for a first kiss. And should you even be going in for a kiss on the first date at all?
According to matchmaker, Julie Bekker, “There is no need to wait”. She recommends that, “If you’re feeling it, kiss them”.
Interestingly, Heather Kristian Strang, a mission-based organization focused on spreading love, is in agreement with the above statements. She says, “I find it best to take the pressure off and allow the date to flow organically. If that includes a kiss, that’s lovely. If not, that’s wonderful too.”
Well, that was fairly simply, wasn’t it?
Does He or She Like You? “It’s In His (Her) Kiss, That’s Where It Is”
The Shoop Shoop Song by Cher is not only entirely catchy, but it’s also pretty accurate. According to Susan Winter, a relationship expert, “If the kiss was a little awkward, that’s a clear indication that he or she likes you”.
Additionally, Winter is a big advocate for the simple yet potent kiss as a sign that he or she likes you. She says that a simple kiss can be more meaningful than making out with tongues, especially if you’re looking for a relationship.
Is Kissing More Intimate than Sex?
Quite a funny notion, but is kissing more intimate than sex? A popular consensus, especially among women, is that it is.
It was also found that women tend to kiss before intercourse, not as a precursor for sex, but as a means to judge whether their partner has potential as a long-term mate.
Additionally, to kiss someone means gazing into their eyes and embracing one another based solely on feelings – including vulnerability. During sex however, it’s easy to close your eyes and be whisked away to another place or imagine different things.
In short, to kiss is about adoration. There’s something magical that can come about during a perfect kiss. With sex, it can merely be about sexual desire and getting off. This makes sex less personable and less intimate.
And to end off the argument, is kissing is more intimate than sex, I’ll leave you with this quote by poet, e.e. Cummings: