This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz.
It was around November 2016 that people in the mainstream started to have the term ‘golden showers’ thrust into their mental space. As a reader of this blog, you’re likely to already know what a golden shower or pee play is — but for those who still have no clue:
Golden showers are the act of urinating on or in the view of your partner. That’s it. There are no real rules to go by, nothing too complicated to wrap your head around. Just peeing on or at someone.
Why do people do it? Well, for the same reasons anyone engages in seemingly inexplicable sexual behavior. There’s the taboo aspect of it; carrying out a perceived shameful act with a consenting partner turns many people on.
For other people, it is likely the vulnerability of being peed on, or even being seen while urinating that gets them going. Perhaps most prevalent of all of these reasons is the power play that is involved — between the pee-er and the pee-ee, it is easy to discern who is the dominant and submissive parties.
However you likely already know all this, because you clicked to see a beginner’s guide to peeing on a partner. And if it’s golden showers advice that you’re after, then urine luck (sorry I am so sorry)!
1.) So, you know that pee play is something you want to partake in, and it is very easy to get started. But to get started in the right way, the first piece of advice goes for every exploration of kink: discuss it with your partner ahead of time. Get on the same page regarding who’s peeing where or on whom and the whole exchange will flow more freely (sorry again).
So that’s the first tip: Get consent and communicate with your sexual partner. This goes for every kink you want to try — especially this one.
2.) Plan it out, and then stick to your pee plan. Call it ‘Plan P’. Actually, don’t call it that. Your discussion where you establish consent should also cover discussions about how you will both go about partaking in this peepee play. Will you be doing it in the shower or the bathtub together? In bed? The kitchen floor or another tiled surface?
Really, the shower or bathtub is the ideal place to indulge in urine-related fantasies: there’s a drain for the run-off stream, and just about everything has a waterproof finish. Other suggestion: the backyard, assuming you’re hidden from prying eyes and have a hose that you can use for clean up afterward. Backyard bonus: you can immediately go from watersports to some outdoor sex*. Where you eventually choose to do it is up to you of course, but know that it is very, very difficult to get stains out of mattresses.
3.) It isn’t all that harmful, but you should know that pee isn’t as sterile as you’ve heard it is. It’s perfectly fine to be peed on, and getting a bit in your mouth is nothing to call 911 about, but should you drink it? Probably not. And don’t get it in any cuts or abrasions that might be present on your skin. Pee still contains bacteria that your body was getting rid of in the first place, so… don’t go putting it back in your body if you can avoid it.
*In this article, we are using the words sex and intercourse as synonymous, as is done in popular culture in general. However, we’d also like to acknowledge that most women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone and need some type of clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration.
Facts checked by:
Dr. Laurie Mintz
Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., is a professor at the University of Florida, teaching Human Sexuality to hundreds of students a year. She has published over 50 research articles and is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Mintz also has maintained a private practice for over 30 years, working with individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. She is also an author and speaker, spreading scientifically-accurate, sex-positive information to enhance sexual pleasure.
