Giddy Up, Cowgirl: Tips for Riding
That’s right ladies, this position is for us. Since most women require clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, riding is an ideal sex position to do so. This position requires the man to lay on his back while the woman straddles him. The cowgirl has become a staple of almost every sex position guide and is even a go-to for pregnant women since there is no pressure of a body on top of yours while you are in full control. Honestly, it’s hard to find reasons not to do this position and it makes sense as to why it’s gained so much popularity over the years (we’re talking like Kama Sutra thousands of years). Our ancestors knew what they were doing.
One of the best parts about the cowgirl position is that there are a bunch of different variations, like the also popular reverse cowgirl (facing away from your partner) and the Asian cowgirl (facing towards your partner but with knees up). Feel free to get creative and do whatever feels good. Mixing up the power dynamic is arousing too. Let’s face it, men always say that they’re doing all the work – so a good way to combat this is by enjoying the ride of your life. The effort is so worth the orgasmic reward, and they will love it as much as you do.
Cowgirl is definitely different than a lot of positions, so here are some things to keep in mind that can enhance being on top.
1. Get It Wet
Like all positions, don’t rush into it. If you’re starting in cowgirl, make sure you’ve done some foreplay and that you are properly lubed up. Giving head is also an effective way of getting things wet and ready.
2. Start Off In The Dark
I’ll admit it, this position can take a bit of confidence since you are face-to-face and very connected to your partner. There can be a lot of pressure to let loose while you ride, so if it’s your first time, maybe try it in the dark. Once you get the hang of it, it will be smooth sailing… or riding rather.
3. Grind, Bounce, Bring It Around Town
There are a lot of motions you can do in this position. Of course, bouncing up and down is a pretty common motion during sex. Grinding, a personal favorite, is typically an easier motion to achieve an orgasm since it focuses on stimulating your clit. You can also grind not only in a forward and back motion, but a circular motion with your hips. Let’s not forget though that being in control can get tiring, fast. To avoid using up all your energy, you can also let your man do all the thrusting.
4. It Takes Two To Tango
You can totally own the motions of this position, but it’s likely your partner will get so turned on that he will want to participate, too. This requires some skill in coordination. And please keep in mind, if the penis goes at all soft, this position can harm it if you’re bouncing around and it accidentally slips out. Nobody wants to be known as the dick destroyer, so proceed with caution.
5. Play With Yourself
Let me tell you about the time I slept with a guy from my Human Sexuality class in college. He was the first guy to ever tell me to touch myself during cowgirl and it was the first orgasm I ever reached during penetrative sex. It was awesome. Don’t be afraid to rub one off, it’s a win-win situation for all.
6. Get Off Easy Once The Ride Is Over
This position is incredibly pleasurable but can definitely do work on your hips. For someone who does yoga a few times a week, I still need a good stretch after cowgirl. There is no need to rush getting up once done. Easy does it.
A Guy’s Role in Cowgirl
Honestly, a man could do nothing but sit back and relax, but what’s the fun in that? You can also spice up the rhythm by thrusting and grinding. Stimulation of the erogenous zones (clit rubbing, nipple play, ass grabbing/spanking) is welcomed, too. Embrace the confidence of your partner in this position, because, well, it’s insanely hot to watch a woman do her thing.
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.