If you’re a fan of historical fiction you’ve probably seen many scenes in books, movies, or shows of aristocratic families making a big deal of someone’s first time having sex after getting married. They check the sheets for blood the next day, they may even have a “doctor” examine the woman to ensure her “purity”. Yikes!
While times have changed, many of these attitudes still exist. The term “popping their cherry” comes from the same outdated and sexist views on sex and the female body, many of which center around the hymen.
The hymen is probably one of the most misunderstood parts of the female body – and that’s saying a lot. What exactly is it, and where did all these myths about it and sexual practices come from?
What is The Hymen?
Before history class, it’s time to take a quick biology lesson. What exactly is the hymen? The hymen, sometimes called the “vaginal corona”, is formed from pieces of tissue left over from when you were in utero, fusing together to create a flesh-colored, thin, small piece of tissue at the vaginal opening.
At birth, the hymen is usually a ring-shaped tissue that surrounds the vaginal opening or just the bottom of the opening. All hymens are unique in their shape, thickness, and size, and as you’re probably aware – can change over time.
People often think that the hymen covers the whole vaginal opening. This isn’t true for the majority of people because then how would they menstruate? In cases where this does occur, called imperforate hymen, people may experience issues with menstruation until after treatment.
What does the hymen do? No one is sure. Scientists theorize that its role is to protect the vagina from bacteria and other potential pathogens, especially in infancy, but people do just fine without that extra bit of tissue.
Does the Hymen Actually Break?
People tend to think of the hymen breaking as this sudden event, usually occurring during penetrative sex, but for most people, it gradually just wears down as someone gets older. Hormones also play a role in the hymen losing its elasticity. Besides sex, the hymen can “break” from using tampons or menstrual cups, masturbation, getting pap smears, or through exercise and sports.
You usually can’t tell visually when a hymen breaks or tears, and may just blend back into the opening of the vagina. Most people are unaware when their hymen breaks, while some might experience light bleeding or slight pain. Even if someone does bleed the first time they have sex, that blood is more likely to come from small cuts in the vaginal wall than from the hymen breaking.
And no, it does not grow back after it breaks or wears down, unless you’re a female guinea pig.
The History of The Hymen
In many cultures, marriage was a transactional tool, and it still is in many places and ways today. Marriage was used to expand regimes, trade land, and to climb the social ladder.
At some point, somewhere down the line, someone got it in their head that virginity was a prized possession. They believed that women should be “pure” until marriage, and that her value as a wife depended on this purity. The hymen became a symbol of purity, thanks to the (false) belief that it only broke during penetrative sex.
What happened in the bedroom didn’t necessarily stay in the bedroom either. In many places, like ancient Greece for example, people would proudly and publicly display a white sheet with blood on it after a wedding night to prove that the blushing bride was indeed a virgin (or found a substitute to cover her tracks).
In cultures that have fetishized this idea of virginity, the hymen has become less of a body part, and more of an ideal that needs to be upheld. These ideas were perpetuated by many religions, especially the Catholic Church, who taught that premarital sex was a sin.
Views on Virginity Today
Virginity itself is a social construct, one that you don’t need to uphold.
While you hopefully have not had to go through hymen checking practices, these ideas about virginity and purity live on, especially in certain cultures and religions. Having sex for the first time can be as big or small of a deal as you want it to be, and your worth as a human and/or partner has nothing to do with whether or not you’ve had sex or how many people you’ve had sex with, unless decided by you.
These practices came from a history of suppressing women, and are unfortunately still happening in some places. In 2018, the United Nations called for a ban on virginity testing. This practice is not only medically unnecessary, but discriminatory, humiliating, and sometimes painful and traumatic.
It’s easy to look back in history and think “Wow, I’m glad that’s over”, but that’s not the reality for everyone. There are even procedures available for people to “repair their hymen” before getting married, called a “hymenoplasty”.
Practices around virginity and the beliefs they uphold are another tool for female oppression. This can keep women and girls (and anyone AFAB) from not only having an empowered and pleasurable sex life, but also keep them from accessing vital sexual health care.
So, what now? Just reading this helps to break down stigmas around female sexuality more and more. Anyone has the right to bodily autonomy and to choose what values are or aren’t important to them. Myths around the hymen have done a lot of societal damage, but we’re here to change that.
