Frottage Core: Your Guide to Dry Humping
From gardening to baking to knitting, cottage core has been all the rage in recent years. Just ask Pinterest.
As lovely as all those things are, we’re not here to talk about cottage core, we’re to talk about frottage core. Say what?!
According to the Oxford Dictionary, frottage is “the practice of touching or rubbing against the clothed body of another person in a crowd as a means of obtaining sexual gratification”. Aka, dry humping.
The thought of dry humping may bring you back to grade school make-out sessions in the back of the car you borrowed from your parents. But hear us out.
Dry humping is awesome!
The Benefits of Dry Humping
Wondering why one might dry hump instead of just jumping to take your clothes off?
You might not need convincing, but here are some of the many benefits of frottage:
- Very small or no risk of STI transmission, depending on if there is skin-to-skin contact or the exchange of bodily fluids. Talk to your partner about both of your STI statuses before things get hot and heavy.
- Very slim risk of pregnancy unless semen happens to be near the vaginal opening. Even then, a very slim chance.
- It’s a way of exploring pleasure with a new partner before taking things to the next step of taking your clothes off.
- When you make more time for foreplay, you are able to increase arousal, which may help you have more intense orgasms.
- It may also help you if you have difficulty orgasming, especially with a partner.
- Helps people with reproductive health disorders like endometriosis and vaginismus get pleasure without triggering discomfort or pain.
Last, but certainly not least, it’s fun and it feels really good!
Frottage Fan Tips
Dry humping is great on its own or before other *ahem* activities. If you’re not convinced yet, let’s give you some ideas to get that imagination revved up. All aboard the frottage train!
Warm Up First
Although dry humping may seem like foreplay, you most likely need a little something-something beforehand to get started.
Otherwise, you may be asking for uncomfortable friction and chaffing.
Try some hot and heavy making out, dirty talk, nipple stimulation, or a little over the pants genital action.
Play with Textures
Part of the fun of dry humping is the friction between the fabric of your clothes and your genitals. Different fabrics, of course, give different sensations.
Try playing with different textures and fabrics like lace, satin and silk, cotton, denim, and mesh.
You can ask your partner to do the same and explore what different fabrics feel like rubbing up against each other. Yum!
Switch Up Positions
The classic dry humping position seems to be sitting up and straddling each other.
There’s nothing wrong with the classics, in fact, it’s highly recommended, but we also recommended switching it up and trying out different positions.
Here’s are some other positions you can take for a spin:
- Doggy style
- “Lotus style”
- Side by side with your legs intertwined
- Reverse cowgirl
Never Underestimate Making Out
Dry humping and making out go hand in hand.
Don’t be afraid to explore your partner’s mouth with yours, get frisky with your tongue, and nibble their lips.
You can also veer away from their mouth to kiss, lick, and tease their collarbone, neck, ears, and shoulders.
Just because your clothes are on doesn’t mean you can’t incorporate toys!
One of you may even want to explore wearing a strap-on dildo.
Think Outside the Genital Box
You aren’t limited to just dry humping your partner’s genitals or pubic mound.
You can also try their thigh, back, stomach, or even their chin – just be careful about uncomfortable fabrics or zippers near their face.
Break Out the Porn
Another way to spice up dry humping whether it’s with a partner or by yourself is by turning on porn.
While it’s not for everyone, and it’s not a supplement for intimacy, porn can be a great way to add another element to your sex life, including dry humping.
You Can Do It Your Own
While dry humping may seem like an activity for two (or more) people, it doesn’t have to be!
In fact, some of our first sexual experiences as kids or teens may have been dry humping a special pillow or something of the sort.
Pillows are still an awesome option, as are armrests on couches, and countertops.
If you want to take your dry humping up a notch, try placing a vibrator on your bed and riding away with your panties or clothes on.
You Don’t Have to Orgasm
Just like with other sexual activities, you don’t have to pressure yourself to orgasm when dry humping.
Dry humping isn’t necessarily the easiest way for many people to orgasm and can be especially complicated if you’re wearing a thick material like denim.
For people with vulvas, your ability to orgasm from dry humping may be influenced by your vulvar anatomy. Or the location of your clitoris in reference to your labia and vaginal opening.
The point is to connect with your sexual partner, feel good, and have fun, if you orgasm great, if you don’t, also great!
Roll with the Punches
Last but not least – roll with the punches and enjoy yourself.
Sometimes fabrics get snagged or you’re dripping with sweat, or other hiccups come up.
Like sex, dry humping can be awkward and funny, and may actually make you feel like you’re sixteen again.
Our advice? Just roll with it. Laugh about it. Do what makes you both feel good, even if it’s a little awkward!
Natasha (she/her) is a full spectrum doula, reproductive health content creator, and sexual wellness consultant. Her work focuses on deconstructing the shame, stigma, and barriers people carry around birth, sex, and beyond, to help people navigate through their lives with more pleasure, softness, and sensuality. You can connect with Natasha on IG @natasha.s.weiss.