What Do You Want from Volonte? Help Us, Help You

So many amazing, challenging and sometimes funny questions roll through our inbox each week, and whenever we pick up on a pattern, we know it’s time to write an article covering the recurring topic. Volonte was created in 2011 with the sole purpose of offering sexual wellness advice based on the interest of our readers. That’s where you come in…

orgasm survey

Every so often we even conduct our own research by creating questionnaires to learn from our readers, but since we’re all for you asking for what you want in the bedroom, it’s also time to ask you what you want from us. Our amazing resources are here to use at your discretion, so please comment below or email us at volonte@lelo.com with any questions or topics you’d be more interested in reading about on our blog.

Volonte has reached its biggest readership of all time and its highest records ever, so we know our content is being consumed, we just want to make it the best content for you. Volonte is French for “willpower” and we want you to take this opportunity to take the “volonte” into your own hands… and bedroom!

Looking forward to hearing from you,

The Volonte Blog Team

Written by: Donna Turner

Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.


  1. Is it true that without incestuous sex we are not born in this world?

  2. Recently I have been experimenting with anal toys, plugs, dildos of different sizes and materials, even bullets and your own Hugo. Though I find the experience pleasant and even intense at times, sometimes leading to a feeling of wanting to cum without actually touching my penis I never attain that release. I feel like I’m so close but am left with a feeling of frustration when I have to resort to traditional methods of masturbation to finish. Is there a better way to get the hands free anal orgasm I so crave???

  3. My fiance does not want me to use my Lelo. I guess he thinks he is all I need. We have great sex but I would like a little more and I miss my single womanhood with my Gigi. Why do men think that they should be all that we need?

  4. Help with dealing with libido imbalance. My wife would never have sex if I didn’t insist and it’s got to the point that we’re down to about 5-6 times a year. It’s utterly miserable. I’ve tried all sorts of different angles and approaches to try to breakthrough to a better sex life.

    I’m aware I could be the problem, but as she won’t discuss it and she won’t take matters into her own hands (she has lots of Lelo vibrators, a dildo, and various other accessories). She now only ever uses her Soraya, and that’s only perhaps 3 times a year. I enjoy trying to please her (I always try to engage in foreplay and cunnilingus but she pushes me away), but when she finally decides we can have sex it’s simply a case of her lying or standing there while I thrust away – it’s like making love to a lump of meat – not at all emotionally fulfilling.

    I’ve tried to discuss, I try to insist that we take our time, I try to put the focus on her pleasure…

    This has been the case now for about 6 years, since before our child was born. Though her appetite had been lessening for a year or two before that. Now she keeps our (Nearly 6 year old) child sleeping in our bed, and I think it’s to keep me away.

    I know most couples lose the first phase of regular and exciting sex fairly quickly, but I’d never expected this. We used to have sex maybe three times a week in our second year of marriage. She used to orgasm fairly easily without her toys, it’s not like it was ever a problem and therefore an effort.

    She’s five years older than I am and says she’s older now, but she’s only 41. That’s not old! And who says you have to have less sex as you get a bit older?

    I’m well aware that I could be a hopeless lover – she was my first and I’ve never slept with anyone else. I’ve tried to read up on things to try and improving technique, I’ve tried asking her to tell me what’s good and as she won’t help, I’ve tried to “read” her to work it out.

    Help needed on the above, please. I’ve always been very firmly of the view that marriage is a commitment and fidelity is essential while the marriage lasts. I’m just not sure how much longer I can hold to that now.

  5. Looking for a massage oil that can be used as lube as well? Any tips?

    • LELO’s Flickering Touch Candle makes for a great mood setter and erotic massage oil, however, we don’t recommend using massage oils as lubricant. The Personal Moisturizer would be the best option.

  6. As I am over 70 years of age,I am increasingly going to be looking for male sex toys that I can use on my penis to improve its strength and rigidity prior to having sex. What sex toys would you suggest that can help me in this endeavour

    • Hi there! The F1s is a sextech sleeve-like console that is designed with the purpose of pleasure training, but if you’re looking for something simpler, a penis ring can be a great option for for keeping your penis harder during intercourse.

  7. If at the beginning of a relationship a partner was willing and if anything a bit of a dream ( open to all aspects of pleasure, even occasionally pegging ) . Then after a few years does a complete 180 and is now the poster child of vanilla, what is one to do ?

    Sincerely, a perplexed lover .

  8. To Donna Turner, I really appreciate your comments. They are on point and don’t try and sell. That is one of the reasons I like Lelo and Volont straight up and honest. My wife and I are loyal customers of Lelo. I have the F1 and your comment about the ring is well respected. I too am now in the libido imbalance situation, as posted by Ed. Looking forward to the article that will help a lot of us.

    • Thank you for the kind words! We’ve received a lot of interest in this topic, so we’ll make sure to cover it. Let us know if there is anything else you would like more info on.

  9. I also enjoy reading this website – im a 50something woman that has experienced some of the best sex in the last few years than I’ve ever had with anyone – i was in a marriage of decades, had many children – had dutiful sex weekly typically, finishing up myself if not brought to orgasm, one orgasm mind you.
    In walks another man in my life and i have never experienced sex as this in my life – I feel liberated.
    In my marriage I thought I was the problem, I thought there must be something wrong that I dont enjoy sex – I tried, we tried for decades-
    My questions are many – what questions to ask to find sex compatibility, one, but others – i have so many “g” spots and i have no cervix or uterus at this point – squirting lots of controversies about that one i do regularly and often during our sex almost too juicy – i am in excellent shape very low body fat, muscular etc how does that play in the ability to have fantastic sex are fit individuals more sexually satisfied do they orgasm more often – also ive had 8 babies and my vagina is quite tight guys – exercise is all it takes for that

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