Long-Distance Love, Lust and Making it Last
These days, opportunity and circumstance are taking as to farther flung-out places for education, employment or what have you. Whatever the reason, there might come a time that you find yourself away from your partner for a stretch of time much longer than you’re comfortable with.
Rather than letting the distance determine whether or not you should be together, you can take control of the situation in ways that will keep the relationship – and the passion – alive from afar.
No-brainer of course, but we are not suggesting that you simply schedule a weekly FaceTime or Skype chat. Now you’re able to keep in touch in real time, and affordably, with messaging apps like Whatsapp and WeChat. In addition to the regular face-to-screen-to-screen-to-face contact, you can always be engaged in a running conversation about what’s going on in your day, what’s on your mind at that moment, or something that made you think of them right just this second.
Lusty long-distance tip: spice things up every now and then with an apropos-of-nothing ‘remember when?’ message. Like; ‘Remember that one time on the rooftop in Madrid?’ and add a couple of details about what made it such a hot experience. If you’re dealing with a big time difference, this is a sexy text message for your partner to wake up to.
If it’s a long-term long-distance situation you’re getting in to, you need to make plans to bridge the distance at some point. All of the tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship going only work so much, but there comes a point where someone’s absence from your life makes it impossible to keep up a romantic relationship.
So create plans to see each other, whether they come to you, you come to them or you meet somewhere in between. Not only is this an opportunity for all that pent-up sexual desire to be released in spectacular fashion, it will also be something for the both of you to look forward to and be a reminder of why you’re both committed to the LDR in the first place.
Lusty long-distance tip: DO NOT travel to where your partner is and surprise them by showing up on their doorstep. Just don’t. Anticipation is much sexier than surprise.
Get Comfortable on Camera
It can be hard to settle into, but it’s a necessity when it comes to having a happy long-distance relationship: Skype sex.
Sure, you don’t have to do it. But if you’re not writing James Joyce-level lusty letters to your sweet, the sexual passion you and your long-distance lover have for each other won’t have any kind of outlet.
It’s just a matter of getting started (and taking care of some sexy movie magic beforehand), and to get it started right you need to throw your insecurities out the window. It feels awkward to start off, so rather than acknowledging the perceived weirdness of the situation, do the talking with your body instead.
Lusty long-distance tip: Having a sexual experience via FaceTime or Skype shouldn’t be treated unlike any normal erotic encounter. When you’re in-person, you don’t just say ‘so should we start now?’. That’s not how it works in real life, nor in the online sphere. Ease into the experience with compliments for your partner, and the rest will follow.
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.