It’s not just the bride-to-be who’s bound to be getting lucky on her wedding night; the findings in our latest infographic shows that that attending a wedding are just as likely as the newlyweds during or after the ceremony.
While we don’t need to tell you how to charm your way into some nuptial nooky, we will tell you our tried-and-true secrets that will make sure your wedding hookup goes smoothly.
DO Dress Sensibly
We’re not talking about being approachable (because you already knew that), but we are talking about having easy access to get in to and out of an intimate situation with ease.
What we mean of course is to wear items that are fast and easy to take off, and to put back on again. This means to avoid Spanx, fashion tape, bow ties, cummerbunds nipple bandages – and even a corset, if that’s your thing. The idea is to be ready for anything that arises, whether it’s a sexual encounter – or an interruption to your sexual encounter.
DON’T Shirk Your Responsibilities
Whether you’re giving a toast to the happy couple or doing a shift at the guest book table, that task takes precedent over a risky romantic rendezvous – no matter how tempting (or time-sensitive) it may be. The wedding reception will (hopefully) go on all night, giving you ample time to slip away to do your own thing.
DO Have a Getaway Plan
Have all your logistics planned out ahead of time when it comes to getting home from the reception; your best bet is keeping taxi fare somewhere on your person. The worst thing to happen would be if your hookup time is close at hand… just when your ride home declares it’s time to leave.
DON’T Choose Someone too Close to the Bride or Groom
No matter how hot her big brother or how foxy best-maid is, taking their attention off the couple on their big day leaves you running the risk of a rift with your friend when all is said and done. Tread carefully and pick up on cues when you mention how great so-and-so looks in their tux – and then wait until the ceremony is done and the ‘JUST MARRIED’ car has pulled away from the reception.
DO Come Prepared
You remembered to put on no-run mascara for the possibility of waterworks later on, so the least you could do is keep a condom in your purse or inner jacket pocket; you know, just in case. Could there be anything worse than laying all that groundwork, getting to the point of no return to realize that neither of you has one? That’s one of those classic ‘all dressed up with nowhere to go’ situations if we’ve ever heard one.
Our final piece of advice is for the catching of the bouquet or garter, and it’s really simple; elbows up.
