how sex toys can help you in birth

Pregnancy Sex: What’s Okay and What’s Not

Congratulations! You’re embarking on a 9-month journey that is going to have its share of ups and downs, but doesn’t need to mean the end of ins and outs. During pregnancy, sex may be the furthest thing from your mind, or it may be the only thing you’re thinking about.

Sex during pregnancy is totally healthy and pleasurable (unless your OB/GYN has indicated otherwise), but it may require a few adjustments to your usual routine. Read below for helpful information and tips for the sex you can expect to have when you’re expecting.

Will I Want to Have Sex While Pregnant?

Many women don’t feel like making love during the beginning of their first trimester (generally speaking, a trimester is one of three 13-week periods of your pregnancy) due to fatigue, nausea, and adjusting to the beginning changes of one’s body. Some women will continue having sex all through this period, others just won’t feel up to it – short answer: it’s completely up to you.

Your second and third trimesters are when your hormonal changes begin to level out, and many women report a return of their sex drive. For this reason, the second trimester is referred to by some as the ‘Honeymoon Period of Pregnancy’.

pregnancy hormone fluctuation

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Does Pregnancy Sex Physically Feel Different?

Because of your body’s necessary changes when growing new life, sex can sometimes feel different. This is due to increased blood flow to the pelvis, as well as changes in breast and nipple sensitivity. Some women find this pleasurable while others don’t. Some women also report increased libido throughout their pregnancy (usually the second trimester), but some find that the hormonal fluctuations make them uninterested in sex.

Pregnancy effect on libido via ResearchGate:

pregnancy sex drive

The most important thing at this time is to be open about your needs and comfort levels throughout pregnancy as they change. Your partner won’t be able to anticipate your needs and desires, especially if you’re surprised by them yourself, so keep the lines of communication open.

Will He Want Sex when I’m Pregnant?

It’s important to talk to your partners about sex before your body starts to change. As your stomach changes shape, some men become concerned about ‘hurting the baby’ or it being inappropriate to have certain kinds of sex with someone who is going to be a mother. You can assure him that there is absolutely no way he will be able to harm the baby during sex, as the cervix is blocked until labor starts, and the uterus is designed to protect the fetus.

Most fathers-to-be are anxious about making sure their partner is happy and healthy during their pregnancy, so it’s a great time to remind him that sex (and orgasms) not only keep you happy and healthy but also that regular affection and intimacy only serves to keep the bond between each other healthy and strong.

Should I ask my doctor?

Seeing as how your physician will become a near-weekly fixture in your life for the foreseeable future, it won’t hurt to consult with them before getting back to your sensual self. And no need to feel awkward about it – they know you’ve done it at least once already.

Do You Have to Change How You Have Sex?

We’d be remiss not to mention that at every stage of pregnancy, vibrators – both internal and external – are safe to use. It’s during this time that safety is of even more importance, and it’s important to use 100% body-safe sex toys. For more specifics on using a vibrator during pregnant masturbation, read this dedicated article.

Again, as your body changes, so may your comfort (and enjoyment of things that you once loved), especially when it comes to sex positions. One constant for all pregnant women will be lessening pressure on your midsection and avoiding or minimizing contact with sensitive nipples as your pregnancy advances.

Here are some general sex positions recommended by trimester (as long as they feel 100% comfortable to you).

First and Second Trimesters

  • T-square sex position: Lie on your back while he lies horizontally on the edge of the bed, entering you while on his side.
  • Cowgirl sex position: Straddle your partner while he lies on his back or sits, freeing your stomach from any weight or pressure.
  • Downward-facing doggystyle sex position: Think the yoga position of similar name, but with your knees and ankles horizontal on the mattress, allowing your belly to rest on your thighs.

Third Semester

  • Spooning sex position: He enters you from behind while you both lie on your sides, or there’s a variation of the T-square mentioned before where you can relax yourself on your side for a non-strenuous lovemaking session.
  • Adjusted missionary sex position: Lie on your back at the edge of the bed while he remains standing the whole time.

Regardless of the position, now more than ever, the question ‘how does that feel?’ demands an honest an immediate response. You can use a chair for seated sex or pillows for back support. Check out more tips and sex positions recommended for pregnancy.

Is Oral Sex Safe During Pregnancy?

A quick but important note is that if your partner is performing oral sex, there’s a (small) chance that, should any air get forced into you, it may lead to dangerous blood vessel blockage. It is best to discuss these risks with your OB/GYN, as well as let them know of any instances of spotting or discomfort during intercourse.

Is Anal Sex Safe During Pregnancy?

Anal sex should be fine while you’re pregnant, though many women experience hemorrhoids during their pregnancy, in which case it should be avoided. Using plenty of water-based personal moisturizer  is key, and cleanliness is of utmost important, as bacteria entering the vagina can be harmful to your pregnancy.

Always use a new condom when switching from anal sex to other penetration, or make sure your partner has washed thoroughly between (something to practice regardless if you are pregnant or not).

What About Kinky Sex When Pregnant?

This one is a bit tough to advise on. ‘Kinky’ can mean different things to different people, anything from light spanking and silk scarves to paddles. Again, comfort here is paramount, as you may not be able to sustain one position for long. If you feel fine being tied up, that should be ok, though restraints should be kept looser, and account for any swelling that accompanies pregnancy.

If you’re a Dominant, you may have to make adjustments to your play. Overexertion is not healthy while you’re pregnant, so if you’re feeling tired or your heart rate is getting too high, put the flogger down.

If you’re on the receiving end, light spanking or use of flogger on your buttocks is fine, but with absolutely no impact landing on your stomach. Breath play and even any slight oxygen deprivation should absolutely be avoided.

Of course, this doesn’t even begin to touch on the kinky play that a lot of people enjoy and practice. It may seem embarrassing, but the best thing to do is to ask your doctor if a specific act is ok. They know the most about how your body is changing and what will affect it, plus they’ve heard it ALL before.

Your doctor will also be seeing a lot of your body, a lot more often than you may be used to, and because bruising during pregnancy can mean gestational thrombocytopenia (low platelet count), you will need to be upfront about the causes of any bruising you may have.


Barring any instruction from your physician not to have intercourse, your sex life can continue right up until your due date, it’s a just a matter of your own comfort and enjoyment. And, as you probably will have quite a few sleepless nights in your future, why not spend a few now doing something pleasurable?

Read about sex after pregnancy here.