Debunking Bisexuality Myths For Bisexuality Day!
Growing up in a heteronormative world can be super confusing for any of us. On top of that, bisexuality is this massive spectrum and while the logistics of that are a whole different topic on their own, a lot of people assume it’s simply a 50/50 attraction. Newsflash, nothing’s ever that simple. This Bisexuality Day, September 23rd, we’re debunking some common bisexuality myths.
MYTH: Bisexuals are polyamorous.
Bisexuality and polyamory cannot be used interchangeably. Just because someone is attracted to more than one gender does not mean that they want to have more than one partner. Some may argue that bisexuals are more likely to practice polyamory, but there is little scientific research to back this claim. Sure, there are bisexuals who practice polyamory, just like there are heterosexuals who do.
MYTH: Bisexuality is the gateway to homosexuality.
Bisexuality is not having one foot in the closet and the other outside of it. Certainly, there are unsure people who come out as bisexual before later coming out as gay, but bisexuality itself is not a “gateway” or phase. People also identify as being straight before they come out as gay, so unless you think being straight is a phase too, this argument should be put to rest.
MYTH: You can’t be bisexual unless you’ve had relations with men and women.
If you’re a virgin, you can still be sexually attracted to someone, right? Right! Bisexuals don’t have to have had any history with any gender to legitimize their orientation. Just like I didn’t have to have sex with Channing Tatum to realize I was straight (although I really, really wish I had).
MYTH: Bisexuals have it easier than gays.
As much as people like to frame bisexuality as “half straight and half gay,” it doesn’t mean they are part of both of these sexualities. For this reason, bisexuals find it difficult to be visible in either community and often face biphobia discrimination. Hiding under the “straight umbrella” is not part of the bisexual agenda and never will be.
MYTH: Bisexuality doesn’t exist.
Now you’re just being a total asshole. Let’s sum this up really clearly; bisexuality is real whether you want to believe it or not. BISEXUALITY IS NOT A GATEWAY TO HOMOSEXUALITY (one more time for the people in the back!) or a “lifestyle” for white liberals for that matter. Bisexuality is a spectrum just like any other sexual orientation. It doesn’t mean that you have to be polyamorous or that you have to be attracted to men and women equally. In fact, there are no “have to’s” in sexuality.
Don’t let anyone invalidate your sexuality. At the same time, have patience with people who don’t understand. It’s a confusing can of whoop-ass, but the good thing is that we’re always making progress. You do what feels right for you and don’t accept anything less than what makes you happy (or horny).
Check out More bisexuality myths here!
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.