This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz.
They say variety is the spice of life – and orgasms are no different! Indeed, research suggests that women who engage in a variety of sexual behaviors are more likely to orgasm than those who don’t. As just a few examples, women who receive more oral sex, try new sexual positions, act out fantasies, and incorporate sexy talk are more likely to orgasm. Women are also more likely to orgasm if their last sexual encounter included deep kissing, manual genital stimulation, and/or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse.
Still, orgasms, like women, are pleasingly unique. Some orgasms feel like an earthquake, others like a tiny ripple. Also,
really important, the type of stimulation you need to orgasm and whatever else turns you on is distinctly and deliciously personal.
Across history, there’s been a lot of categorizing of female orgasms based on where the woman is being stimulated. We’ve heard of clitoral and vaginal orgasms, for example. But, guess what? Scientists disagree about if there are really different kinds of orgasms or not, with some good evidence on both sides. Still, what most sex therapists agree on is that there is no right way or better way to orgasm. Whatever works for you is the right way!
Below are a few places women like to be stimulated to get to that Big-O!
Oooooh #1: The Clitoris
The clitoris is a remarkable thing. The erogenous hotspot for women, it boasts more touch-sensitive nerve endings in a small space than anywhere else on the human body. It is the only human organ designed solely for pleasure. Although the majority of the clitoris is actually hidden inside the body, that all-important external sweet spot towards the top of the vulva makes clitoral stimulation a must for most women, during both solo and partnered sex. The overwhelming majority of women need clitoral stimulation to hit the big-O!
Magical as it is, the clitoris isn’t some button promising instant gratification as soon as it is touched rather than a straightforward case of ‘X marks the spot’, you’re much more likely to reach the big ‘O’ if your partner takes a more leisurely route around this most sensual of areas and then touches you just as you instruct (and similar to the way you touch yourself alone). Some women like to be touched to the right of the clitoris, some to the left, and some right on the hood that covers the clitoris. Either way, for most women, the clitoris is the seat of spine-tingling, toe-curling bliss.
Whether you’re alone or with a partner, a handheld external vibrator can add the extra ‘oomph’ to get you where you want to be, in the orgasmic sense. If you’re a complete newbie, a petite palm-sized vibe is the perfect starter sex toy to begin exploring the pleasures you enjoy the most, and which intimate item will help you fulfill them. We also recommend SONA – the World-First Sonic Clitoral Stimulator which stimulates 75% more of the clitoris (including the part of its structure you can’t see)!
Oooooh #2: The G-Spot
Where orgasms from clitoral stimulation are all about the touching, caressing and stroking of sensitive spots outside the body, their vaginal counterparts happen on the inside.
Specifically what we’re talking about here, be it with fingers, a penis or a sex toy, is the G-spot. The G-spot is located in the lower third of the way into the vagina and it’s actually not just a spot at all. It includes a lot of organs, including the internal clitoris! The most mysterious of erogenous zones, for some it’s downright mythical, with the big G’s mere existence still subject to ongoing debate. Try telling that to the many women who absolutely love G-spot orgasms!
Semantics aside, for many women, pressure on the frontal ‘wall’ of the inner vagina feels undeniably good. While some penises can hit this spot, most women who experience G-spot orgasms do so with their partner’s fingers or a vibrator. The most recommended finger method is to have a woman lay on her back and put her own or a partner’s fingers inside her vagina and make a come hither motion. Still, many find a G-spot vibrator hits the spot even better!
Because of the G-spot position on that frontal vaginal wall, you’ll need a vibrator that is shaped specifically for G-spot massage. You’ll know these vibrators by their unique appearance, as they usually feature a flattened or widened surface at their tips, which focuses vibrations and pressure to where they’re wanted most.
Oooooh # 3: Get Your Orgasms The Blended Way
Imagine: the exquisite intensity of clitoral stimulation, combined with the body-shaking force of vaginal stimulation. That, reader, is what’s called a blended climax, bringing the best of both worlds to one sensational high that’s a delight to experience, and even better when it’s shared.
There are a lot of moving parts here: two erotically erogenous zones, simultaneously stimulated to bring a whole wave of sensations. Sounds complicated? It’s not – all that’s required is a little coordination, a lot of communication and, like most of life’s pleasures, patience.
The key is to find a sex position that allows either him or, ideally, yourself, hands-on access to your clitoris. Woman on top is a good one, as the woman can rub her clitoris on her partner’s pubic bone or even better yet, she can use her hands or a vibrator to stimulate her clitoris. And, no partner? No problem. There are great vibrators that stimulate the vagina and the clitoris at the same time!
The best way to experience the blended orgasm alone is with a dual action – sometimes called a ‘rabbit-style’ – vibrator that features both an internal and external massage point. There are a number of them available on the market, but as with every intimate item you plan to use, ensure you get the safest sex toys on offer by buying the best – and by ‘the best’, we of course mean LELO. And, for experiencing blended pleasure with a partner, try a wearable vibrating massager. The vibrator will hit your clitoris while his penis stimulates your vagina.
Oooooh # 4: Multiple Orgasms
Men and women experience pleasure in different ways, and that’s especially true of the holy grail of sexual highs: the multiple orgasm.
In what must be nature’s cruelest oversight, guys need a period of downtime right after ejaculation before they’re able to come again. Women, on the other hand, are hardwired altogether differently, making the multiple orgasm – that having more than one orgasm in a love making session with no downtime is a real possibility for all. Hoorah!
So why aren’t we all at it, you might ask? Some women are very content with just one orgasm! Others want more. Sometimes, however, expectations or even ‘guilt’ that one party is peaking more than the other gets in the way. Let go of such ideas! Also know that multiple orgasms can be learned, but take time, and an understanding of the body’s potential for pleasure. That applies to both partners: talk through your desires, draw out foreplay and most of all, relax, enjoy the intimacy and see what happens!
While there’s no vibrator that guarantees multiple orgasms, we’ve found that the SONA 2 Cruise – the World’s First Sonic Clitoral Stimulator, does the trick for many!
Increase your shared pleasure with a wearable vibrating massager that adds fantastic sensations to lovemaking that will bring you to orgasm faster, while he gets the added satisfaction of your own satisfaction.
A Happy Ending
Throughout history, the female orgasm has intrigued, inspired and even intimidated. Do they matter? Of course they do, but let’s not forget: a happy ending is nothing without the mind-blowing sex before. With that in mind, we could all do with mixing things up now and again. After all, climax or no, we guarantee you’ll have a lot of fun trying!
*In this article, we are using the words sex and intercourse as synonymous, as is done in popular culture in general. However, we’d also like to acknowledge that most women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone and need some type of clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration.
Facts checked by:
Dr. Laurie Mintz
Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., is a professor at the University of Florida, teaching Human Sexuality to hundreds of students a year. She has published over 50 research articles and is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Mintz also has maintained a private practice for over 30 years, working with individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. She is also an author and speaker, spreading scientifically-accurate, sex-positive information to enhance sexual pleasure.