Enjoying the View: Experimenting with Voyeurism in a Relationship
If you’re like most other people, you’re a visual person. Not to say that you have the gift of sight, but rather you’re someone for whom a visual can go a long way towards stimulation. Taking a peek of something you’re perhaps not meant to be seeing can titillate even the most po-faced prude.
Maybe you’re a convert to the unique pleasures of peeping on your partner and if so, we totally get it: sex is an amazing, awesome thing. Ergo, watching sex and sexual goings-on is also pretty incredible. ONE BIG NOTE HERE: we in no way condone practicing voyeurism on an unknowing person or persons. Gawking at strangers, especially without the permission to do so is a gigantic no-no.
As a budding voyeur with a spouse or serious partner, getting started is as simple as speaking with your partner about what turns you on, and then collaborating on making it happen with some of these simple tips and tricks.
Role Play. Have your partner undress in a different room as you peer through a cracked open door or from the closet. A spicier version of this is having your partner get themselves off in one room of the house while you watch from a window or through a keyhole, making this a voyeuristic variation of mutual masturbation.
Set Up Some Mirrors. One way to get a look at a couple in the throes of passion is to get a load of you and your partner while you’re doing it. Take mirrors and set them up in different areas of the room, angled in order to see you and your partner from different vantage points while making love.
Record a Sex Session. As an extension of the previous tip, set up your phone to record a video of you and your partner having sex in order to watch it later. Mix this tip with the first tip and set up your camera to record in one room of your house, letting your partner know to get undressed or masturbate while being ‘secretly’ recorded.
Visit a Strip Club. If there are any in your area, visit a strip club with your partner and buy them a lapdance. Watching them get turned on by the dancer can be a turn on for you as well. This is just dipping a toe in the water when it comes to the last lustful idea in this list, which is a pretty advanced level of voyeurism.
Pair your partner with another person. In the parameters of a relationship, voyeurism can take the form of watching your partner have sex with someone other than you – this is the advanced level of voyeurism that, depending on your relationship, you may aspire to.
To watch your partner with another person can be very akin to having a threesome, and the rules for setting up a threesome definitely apply here, so read up on our threesome tips to help get you started.
For some, seeing their partner experience pleasure at the hands of another person can be a huge turn on, and according to psychologists, increases arousal for both male and female partners. Watching your partner and another person in some ways validates their attractiveness, and can serve as a confidence booster and huge turn-on.
Colin Hanna is a Volonté contributor and freelance writer who lives in Shanghai, China with his wife. He’s written extensively about sex and human sexuality for LELO since 2010.