What would you say if I told you that there are celibacy benefits that can improve your sex life? Yes, you’ve heard that right – not having sex can indeed make your sex life better!
Celibacy doesn’t have the best reputation. And there is a good reason why people are hesitant about it. With it being such a large part of many religions that restrict people’s (especially women’s) sexuality and paint it as something dirty and wrong, no wonder we don’t feel fond of the concept.
Researchers have found that young adults are having less casual sex now than ever before. While it’s hard to determine the exact reason, they speculate that for young women, it might be because they consume alcohol less frequently and that leads to less casual sex.
There is a new trend of intentional celibacy that young people, especially young heterosexual women, are turning to not as a way to restrict their sexuality, but rather as a way to heal, encourage self-exploration, and create a better, more fulfilling sex life.
Here’s How Intentional Celibacy Benefits Your Sexual Health
What Is Intentional Celibacy?
Intentional celibacy is a conscious decision to be intentional and picky about who you have sex with. Instead of seeking out casual, meaningless hookups, people choose to direct their energy and time into self-love, self-exploration, and personal development.
New age intentional celibacy is less about religion or waiting until marriage and more about cultivating a healthy relationship between your mind and body, and other people. It’s about being mindful of who you let into your life and how you allow them to treat you.
Why Are Young Women Choosing It?
One of the reasons why young women might be choosing to explore the intentional celibacy benefits is the rising interest in mindfulness practices. The mindfulness meditation app market is rapidly growing and is predicted to reach over $2.6 million by 2030.
Recent studies reveal that there has been an increased interest in mindlessness around the globe and that one of the reasons why people are driven to explore this topic is their desire to improve their quality of life.
The rise of “situationships” amongst the younger generation, the relationship status where the couple is neither together nor apart, acting as if they’re in a committed relationship, without the commitment, has unwanted side effects for some people.
While this casual relationship status works for some, for others it can negatively affect their self-worth, which can lead to them becoming insecure and unhappy with their relationships. It’s natural for people to turn to intentional celibacy as a way to avoid finding themselves in unwanted “situationships.”
Intentional Celibacy Benefits
Improved Relationship With Yourself
Solo sex can be extremely beneficial to fostering a healthy and loving relationship with your body. And feeling comfortable and confident in your body is a key to sexual satisfaction.
When you’re masturbating without intention, you might not always have the time to connect with your body, to really observe the way it changes and reacts to different types of stimulation.
Once you start paying attention to your body and really tune in to everything you feel, you’ll become more appreciative of the fact that your body experiences pleasure.
Intentional celibacy is the perfect time to explore intentional self-love. Try different types of masturbation, especially masturbation in front of the mirror to become more comfortable in your own skin.
Alone, you can be relaxed and not worry about performing, which will also help you get into the habit of being okay with the sounds you might make during sex and how you look.
Experiment With Toys and Find Out What You Like
Aisha’s video on TikTok about her choosing to be celibate for 60 days has over 27K likes with thousands of people supporting her decision and sharing that celibacy have helped them too. She believes that “you define your own journey” when it comes to being celibate.
After a few months of being intentionally celibate, Aisha decided to come back to “being a sexual human being” and she started her journey by experimenting with sex toys. The reason for her decision was that she wanted to learn about her body and sexual likes and needs.
One of the best ways to improve your sex life, whether with a partner or solo, is to get to know your body and what brings you pleasure. Yes, a good partner can make finding out things that turn you on easier, but you are responsible for your own pleasure first and foremost.
Celibacy is the perfect time to go all in and explore your pleasure. It’s also fun, because trying out new toys and techniques, even all by yourself, can be just as fun as trying new things with a partner.
Once you know what floats your boat in the bedroom, you can communicate and show your partner what brings you pleasure. Not only will it result in more orgasms (which is always a win!), but it will also be a turn-on for your partner.
Sheen has been celibate for eight months and while she found many benefits to being intentionally celibate and single during that time, one of the benefits she names is improved self-esteem. “My worth and self-esteem are sky high. I know what I deserve and I’m going to wait for that,” she says.
If you find yourself always seeking relationships and never spending any time single, it might be a good idea to stop and look into why that is. While everyone’s needs are different and there is nothing wrong in being in a relationship, the reasons why you are in a relationship matter.
Especially if you find yourself in toxic relationships that make you unhappy and lower your self-esteem and confidence. Catherine Gray, the author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Single, gave up sex for 12 months. During that time she found out she has an anxious attachment style, which was negatively affecting her relationships and mental well-being.
Intentional celibacy allowed Gray to notice her low self-esteem and how it affected her relationships and that allowed her to heal and become intentional with the way she built relationships when she finally started dating again.
Celibacy guide Jordan Jeppe spent 13 months being intentionally celibate. In her instance, she didn’t date during that time and she did abstain from self-pleasure. During those 13 months, she worked on healing her sexual trauma and redefining what she was looking for in a partner.
During those 13 months she focused on herself and healing, she said goodbye to all the exes and past flings (bye-bye, convenient sex with an ex!). She worked on creating her relationship and partner non-negotiable lists, and she learned to set boundaries and to say ‘no.’
If you constantly find yourself in relationships that are toxic, harmful, and leave you feeling down most of the time, then practicing self-love and being intentionally celibate can help you figure out why that’s happening and how you can change those relationship habits.