Let the Games Begin: Ideas for Erotic Challenges, Bets and Punishments

Ideas for Sex Games

Variety is meant to be the spice of life, and as humans are hardwired to desire novelty, trying new things in the bedroom is often at the top of the list when it comes to keeping the spark between you and your partner burning bright. However, this can be easier said than done; even the most creative of us can struggle to come up with something new to try.

Below we’ve created a list of 22 creative ‘punishments’ and sex games you can incorporate into your bedroom play!

Before the Bedroom

The Spa Treatment

Your poor partner is just exhausted after a hard day at work, so your punishment involves bathing them, complete with scalp massage and the inclusion of a waterproof wand massager.

A Helping Hand

While you are doing a boring household chore like washing dishes or folding laundry,  your partner will use their hands, mouth, and small handheld massagers to try and distract you from the task at hand.

A Yes-No-Win Situation

During your normal evening dinner or Netflix on the couch, set this rule to your conversation: whenever one of you says”yes” or “no”, you will need to remove an article of clothing.

Command Performance

Imitations, performances… adopt the role of the hero, the villain or the seductress to demonstrate your talents!  These sexy punishments during foreplay are for couples who don’t know the meaning of ‘stage fright.’

Once Upon a Time…

Great actors don’t need props or costumes; they rely on their tone and expression to deeply affect their audience. Without touching, read aloud a short erotic story (or just an excerpt) to arouse your partner.

The Show Must Go On

Of course, this kinky sex game can also be played with audience participation: your partner is allowed to touch, kiss, and caress you while you read or recite, and you have to resist their best efforts to interrupt you.

The Spotlight

Your partner gives you a character and a (sexy) scenario for you to act out solo.

The Statue

You must remain perfectly still, while holding the position of your partner’s choice, while they do what they will to you.

Inside the Actors Studio

For this punishment, a partner chooses a movie scene of their choice. They could pick something quite innocent, but then again, maybe they won’t.

The Mirror

Embraces, caresses, kiss on the neck (or elsewhere), once your partner has done something, you must do exactly the same thing in the same place.

Delayed Sexual Gratification

Is your partner an expert at delaying their gratification? Then maybe your punishment has not given until after foreplay has gotten you all hot and bothered!

The Luck of the Draw

Your partner wrote down 5 of their sexual fantasies onto slips of paper; you pick two slips and get to choose between them.

Safety Demonstration

Without using your hands, you’ll have to put a condom onto your partner (or a sex toy if your partner lacks the requisite anatomy).

Role Models

One partner puts on an erotic movie of their choosing, and then you both mimic the actors in real time as the events unfold.

Music of the Soul

Are you always arguing about who has better taste in music? This time, your partner sets the playlist and you have to follow the rhythm. Our suggestion for making it extra difficult? Use a ‘power hour’ playlist from Youtube (on that switches the song every minute) and add a sound-responsive vibrator into the mix.

Food for Dirty Thoughts

Incorporating food into sex (whether aphrodisiacs or not) is not particularly new, but they can serve as excellent additions to erotic games for gourmet punishments.

Getting Fresh

Using strong mint or gum, treat your partner to the tingling sensation of menthol-fresh oral.

Are You Being Served?

Have you seen sushi served on a nude woman’s body? It’s called nyotaimori, and taking a cue from this, your body becomes a serving platter (though your partner can only use their mouth to eat)!

Arctic Kiss

An alternative to a minty mouth involves an ice cube. It’s up to your discretion whether it’s a punishment for the partner holding ice in their mouth (until it melts) as they trace the other’s body, or for the once on the receiving end.

Tougher Love

If you feel that caresses and sweets are too much like rewards and not enough like punishments, here are some kinkier ideas for you!

Tickling Your Fancy

You are bound by hand to the bed, and your partner makes you suffer a mild torture by only touching you with a feather teaser.

All 50 Shades

You are blindfolded and each wrist is handcuffed to your ankles. Your partner is free to choose from any whips or teaser, as well as your sex toys to bring you to the cusp of climax and then back again.

The Master

Use a sand timer from a board game for some fun that’s definitely not for all ages. For the amount of time it takes for the sand to run out,  one partner is the sex slave of the other,  doing exactly what the other asks, whether it be providing caresses or a spanking.

Public Displays of Atonement

Do you have an exhibitionist streak? Here are challenges and punishments to put explore your pleasure in public.

The Million Dollar Question

You’ll have to ask a stranger for directions…while your partner controls the vibrating toy you wear via remote control.

Quick as a Flash

You go out in the street with your coat. Just your coat. And when your partner say the magic word, you must surreptitiously give them a sneaky-peek.

A Standing Engagement

Dress appropriately to take advantage of any opportunity presents itself for a quickie―be it oral, vibrating, or otherwise―in a dark alley or restaurant washroom…


You can customize these ideas by changing the venue, duration, number of accessories and the difficulty level …and they don’t just have to exist within the bedroom. You can use them for punishments for minor bumps in your week like one of you forgetting to buy milk, or if one of you breaks your ‘no snack food’ challenge. Of course, we don’t want to encourage these types of behavior, but with punishments this fun, you might find yourself trying to lose your bets as often as possible!

Written by: Katy Thorn

Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for writing about sex, sexuality, and all things rated R. She received her degree in Women’s Studies with a focus in Intersectionality at the University of California, Berkeley (Go Bears!). She has a cat named Yoko, drinks too much black coffee, and hates writing bios.

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