Let the Games Begin: Ideas for Erotic Challenges, Bets and Punishments
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz.
Variety is said to be the spice of life, and since many humans desire novelty, trying new things in the bedroom is often at the top of the list when it comes to keeping the spark between you and your partner burning bright. However, this can be easier said than done; even the most creative of us can struggle to come up with something new to try.
Below we’ve created a list of 20 sensual and sexual games and activities you can incorporate into your bedroom play! Some are mild and some are much more kinky. Of course, for the kinkier ones, a safe-word is absolutely necessary to be created and respected to signify a stop in the action. Additionally, before engaging in any of these games, communication is a must, as the games should only be played if both partners are willing and interested.
The Spa Treatment
Your poor partner is just exhausted after a hard day at work, so you bathe them, complete with scalp massage and the inclusion of a waterproof wand massager.
A Helping Hand
While you are doing a boring household chore like washing dishes or folding laundry, your partner uses their hands, mouth, and small handheld massagers to try and distract you from the task at hand.
A Yes-No-Win Situation
During your normal evening dinner or Netflix on the couch, set this rule to your conversation: whenever one of you says”yes” or “no”, you will need to remove an article of clothing.
Once Upon a Time…
Great actors don’t need props or costumes; they rely on their tone and expression to deeply affect their audience. Without touching, read aloud a short erotic story (or just an excerpt) to arouse your partner.
The Show Must Go On
Of course, this kinky sex game described above can also be played with audience participation: your partner is allowed to touch, kiss, and caress you while you read or recite, and you have to resist their best efforts to interrupt you.
Your partner gives you a character and a (sexy) scenario for you to act out solo.
You must remain perfectly still, while holding the position of your partner’s choice, while they do what they will to you.
Embraces, caresses, kiss on the neck (or elsewhere), once your partner has done something, you must do exactly the same thing in the same place.
The Luck of the Draw
Your partner writes down 5 of their sexual fantasies onto slips of paper; you pick two slips and get to choose between them.
One partner puts on an erotic movie of their choosing, and then you both mimic the actors in real time as the events unfold.
Music of the Soul
Are you always arguing about who has better taste in music? This time, your partner sets the playlist and you have to follow the rhythm. Our suggestion for making it extra difficult? Use a ‘power hour’ playlist from Youtube (on that switches the song every minute) and add a sound-responsive vibrator into the mix.
Using strong mint or gum, treat your partner to the tingling sensation of menthol-fresh oral.
Are You Being Served?
Have you seen sushi served on a nude woman’s body? It’s called nyotaimori, and taking a cue from this, your body becomes a serving platter (though your partner can only use their mouth to eat)!
An alternative to a minty mouth involves an ice cube. One partner can hold ice in their mouth (until it melts) as they trace the other’s body.
Tickling Your Fancy
You are bound by hand to the bed, and your partner makes you suffer a mild torture by only touching you with a feather teaser.
All 50 Shades
You are blindfolded and each wrist is handcuffed to your ankles or a bedpost. Your partner is free to choose from any whips or teaser, as well as your sex toys to bring you to the cusp of climax and then back again.
Use a sand timer from a board game for some fun that’s definitely not for all ages. For the amount of time it takes for the sand to run out, one partner is the sex slave of the other, doing exactly what the other asks, whether it be providing caresses or a spanking.
The Million Dollar Question
You’ll have to ask a stranger for directions…while your partner controls the vibrating toy you wear via remote control.
Quick as a Flash
You go out in the street with your coat. Just your coat. And when your partner say the magic word, you must surreptitiously give them a sneaky-peek.
A Standing Engagement
Dress appropriately to take advantage of any opportunity presents itself for a quickie―be it oral, vibrating, or otherwise―in a dark alley or restaurant washroom…
You can customize these ideas by changing the venue, duration, number of accessories and the difficulty level… and they don’t just have to exist within the bedroom.
Facts checked by:
Dr. Laurie Mintz
Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., is a professor at the University of Florida, teaching Human Sexuality to hundreds of students a year. She has published over 50 research articles and is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Mintz also has maintained a private practice for over 30 years, working with individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. She is also an author and speaker, spreading scientifically-accurate, sex-positive information to enhance sexual pleasure.
Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for writing about sex, sexuality, and all things rated R. She received her degree in Women’s Studies with a focus in Intersectionality at the University of California, Berkeley (Go Bears!). She has a cat named Yoko, drinks too much black coffee, and hates writing bios.