Pleasure Your Mate Month Is Here!
September is here and so is your chance to reignite and intensify your passionate sex life. It’s a good reminder that giving can be incredibly rewarding, so get between the sheets and celebrate Pleasure Your Mate Month (which is guaranteed to offer you some pleasure, too) by trying something new. Finally, a sexual holiday that lasts not one, but thirty, orgasmic days.
Go Somewhere New
It’s totally normal to get bored of the bedroom and want to change up the environment. Please keep in mind that public sex can be legally risky, and although that’s part of the rush and fun for some people, there are a lot of “private” public spaces that can be just as fun without all the risk. What do we mean by “private” public spaces? Somewhere that has a lock on the door. For example, a beach restroom, dressing room, or even your parked car.
And if this element of being semi-public just isn’t for you, you can also plan a little romantic getaway. Go to that place you’ve both always talked about going to, and make an effort to focus on each other for the entirety of the getaway. Put the phones down, leave the work and stress at home, and dust off the pleasure treasure chest you wish you frequented more. If you don’t have time for a staycation, take a trip to the sex shop as a couple and create your wildest fantasies right at home.
Be Someone New
Explore your sexual power! Switching up the power dynamic can be an eye-opener to couples who have been stuck in a rut or thinking about trying something new. Switching from a dominant to a submissive, or vise versa, can help us gain a new perspective, literally and mentally, during intimacy and help us understand our partners better. While pegging, which generally refers to a ciswoman penetrating their heterosexual male partners, might be too much too soon for you, start by simply changing up who’s on top and experimenting with new positions.
Sexual roleplay can also help partners communicate their inner inhibitions far beyond the classic teacher/student or nurse/patient scenes without the fear of being judged by their partners. There are also a ton of wearable accessories from couples massagers (if you’re really looking for a thrill, wear them in public) to nipple clamps. If you’re a guy who’s adamant about leaving an impression in the bedroom, check out this tux that is taking penis fashion by storm. Your partner won’t be able to resist going gentle on your gentleman.
Feel Something New
Indulging all of your senses can also heighten your stimulation in the bedroom. Ever tried dragging a cold spoon across your blindfolded lover’s body? Or tickling them ever so lightly with a suede whip? There are a ton of mild sensation plays you can introduce to feel incredibly erotic by typically blocked senses.
Now is also the time to communicate to your partner if you want to try something new, as in try somewhere new on your body. The beautiful and intriguing thing about sexuality is that it is a total evolution over your lifetime. What you said you would have never have been willing to try x years ago could be something that’s peaked your interest as of late. Maybe you’re curious about anal sex, maybe you want to connect on a more spiritual level. Whatever it may be, utilize this September’s Pleasure Your Mate Month to discover your partner’s desires and rekindle your intimacy.
Taste Something New
The integration of food and sex isn’t something new. This combination dates back many centuries and even Cleopatra considered eating a sexually pleasurable activity of indulgement. In fact, “Food is like sex—a natural appetite.”
There are many ways to incorporate food into pleasuring your partner, directly and indirectly. You can add fun foods to your oral love making or try and whip up an aphrodisiac meal plan for date night. If that doesn’t make you believe in aphrodisiacs, we also conducted a deep dive into the history and research of how food affects sexual libido. I’m sure you’ve heard that old recommendation for the pineapple diet when it comes to the taste of cum. Regardless of your stance, incorporating food into the bedroom can be the cherry on top of a fun evening, so explore that forbidden fruit and pleasure your mate in new ways!
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.