So Are Blue Balls Like, a Thing or Not?
Ever since men have had testicles, they have probably used blue balls as a reason to get mercy-laid.
Blue balls is explained/described as testicular pain or discomfort resulting from having an erection that doesn’t lead to orgasm. Additional to the discomfort is a reported bluish tinge of the testicles – a blue hue, if you will. Medically, blue balls is referred to as epididymal hypertension.
‘Wait wait,’ I can hear you saying now; ‘if there’s a medical term, that means that blue balls is a real thing, right?’ Well, yes it is, but it’s by no means a serious one.
How un-serious is blue balls?
So un-serious that aside from a fancy medical name, there’s not much in the way of medical research or findings about it. The only case we’ve found was in the Pediatrics medical journal from 2000. A 14-year-old boy went to the Emergency Room claiming scrotal pain after an extended make out session with his girlfriend during which he didn’t ejaculate. The attending physicians however couldn’t identify what the source of the discomfort was.
This is because emergency medical textbooks and medical libraries hold no actual information about blue balls – the best that you could do is type it into a web search, where you’ll find reams and reams of mainly anecdotal accounts.
So blue balls are kind of, but not officially ‘real’ real. Hoookay then: what causes them?
The dull testicular aching that men attribute to blue balls can be hypothesized as being increased pressure from prolonged arousal. The thinking here is that the increased bloodflow to your genitals during arousal can, if not released, put some uncomfortable pressure on your balls.
As for the blue tinge? According to some urologists, that’s due to the buildup of oxygen-rich, and thus blue, blood in your scrotum and testicles – making them blue doy.
If you’re using erectile dysfunction drugs or a cock ring – things that are meant to increase or constrict bloodflow to the genitals – you might be more likely to experience blue balls. However the only symptom is some mild discomfort, and the solution to blue balls isn’t so bad.
Okay so my balls are blue – what now?
Don’t be blue because your balls are – luckily, the treatment that is cited the most as the cure for blue balls is orgasm! Release that pressure and tension in your scrotum by finally letting loose with climax and your discomfort should clear right up. Note that we’re just talking about having an orgasm – partnered or solo – it doesn’t matter which.
Of course the ‘cure’ for pent-up sexual desires is masturbating, and guess what? All the tools you need are right there on the end of your arm… or are they?
If sex toys designed to stimulate the clitoris have gone through endless advancements over the years, it stands to reason that male masturbation items have also gone through similar innovations. Where once the market was awash with ‘pocket pussies’, now they have evolved to their highest form of Sextech pleasure items.
The Sextech items that have been developed so far provide penile pleasures like no other; a masturbation sleeve like the F1S is meant for male masturbation, but also features a sonic emitter that delivers resonant pulsations into your genital tissue — it sounds different, for sure, but it feels fantastic.
Colin Hanna is a Volonté contributor and freelance writer who lives in Shanghai, China with his wife. He’s written extensively about sex and human sexuality for LELO since 2010.