Top 5 Sex Positions That Put HER in Control

We’ve shown you the best dominant sex positions that put him in control in the bedroom, but what about when you want to get behind the wheel? In BDSM, dominance and submission aren’t necessarily cut and dried roles, so we’ve put together our list of the 5 best sex positions for exploring your dominant side.

1. Rocking Horse

Rocking horse position

Position Difficulty: 1/5

This position brings you up close and intimate in ways the usual woman-on-top sex positions don’t, and by having him sit upright, it can also be much easier for your movement as well. While he leans back onto his hands, yours are free to run over his chest, neck and back, or you can simply lean back, place your hands on his knees, and grind against his hips. Dial up the heat in this position with the addition of a vibrating couples’ ring.

The Good: All this face-to-face closeness leaves him open to intense teasing of his major erogenous zones. With your body-weight on top he’ll have no choice but to submit to the very best sort of torture.

The Bad: Any position requiring kneeling or crossed legs can get uncomfortable, but it can be adapted if your partner stretches his legs straight and lies flat, letting you pin his legs and arms down against the bed.

2. The Lock and Key

lock and key position

Position Difficulty: 2/5

Not all these positions put you on top. This modification of missionary allows you to use your thighs and knees, locked tightly around his hips, to both elevate your own hips towards him and also give you control of the depth of his thrusts. It’s like the missionary sex position, except you’re in control from beneath. Remaining face to face, you can frustrate his efforts to enter you deeply while giving complete view of your body. If you’re strong enough, you can also have him support himself entirely with his legs and stimulate you manually as you please.

The Good: You can both decide how active your partner will be as suits the mood – and your fantasies. He can remain still as you push yourself on him, or actively strain against your locked legs. Perfect position for using TIANI 3 couples’ massager.

The Bad: It does take a fair amount of strength to keep your legs gripping tight, so use your arms wrapped around the back of his knees or his forearms to help push your hips upwards.

3. The Kiss of Life

The kiss of life position

Position Difficulty: 2.5/5

While straddling your partner as he performs oral may be the go-to dominant position, you really can’t beat this position in terms of heat and passion. Easiest against a wall or while you’re sitting on the edge of a bed, you will get an amazing view of him beneath you.

The Good: Let him use that support to free up his hands to cup your bottom or stimulate you manually. And of course, his hair is easily accessible… For the really strong partners, you could even try this position without back support but this also takes some acrobatic and balance skills!

The Bad: We genuinely struggle to think of any downsides to oral, although we must acknowledge that certainly not all women love it. We also sympathize with knee-soreness when it comes to extended sessions. Cushions can help with this, but be aware they can destabilize your partner if too slippery.

4. The Hot Seat

the hot seat position

Position Difficulty: 4/5

The Hot Seat does anything but let you sit back and relax. While he needs the flexibility to curl backward, you will need balance and muscle control to hold him there, and to move up and down on him. To lend further support, you can both clasp each other’s forearms to facilitate your movements―which will only need to be minor in range to create some major pleasure.

The Good: This position is also great for anal sex, putting you in control of depth and speed.

The Bad: Requiring both flexibility from him and extreme care from you, you may not want to stay in the hot seat too long!

5. The Bridge

the bridge sex position

Position Difficulty: 5/5

This position is for that special  yoga-enthusiast  in your life. After he bends backwards into the bridge position, you straddle him and move up and down (shifting weight from your toes to heels) completely controlling the speed and depth.

The Good: Because your body isn’t needed for support, your hands are free to dial up the heat with a  small hand-held clitoral vibe.

The Bad: We’re not going to pretend this doesn’t take a heroic amount of flexibility, not to mention upper body strength. If your partner is up to the challenge, your respective height differences may also make movement difficult for you.

Written by: Donna Turner

Donna Turner
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work frequently appears in the Journal of Sexology and Women’s Health Mag. She hosts intimacy seminars and is currently writing a book on love languages.

5 comments

  1. Tried No. 1 & 2 with my bf last night, fabulous orgasm with the rocking horse! Thank you Donna xx

  2. my wife does position 2 above all the time. drives me crazy! (awesome)

  3. My SO loves no.2 but anytime I raise my hips it’s almost too sore! What do you guys do? Extra lube?

  4. Lady corporate is important. And everything goes good

  5. My partner does the hot seat. It’s really great for anal sex oh my God !! It’s great pentrate in the anal and I have many orgasim thanks for the article

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