Top 5 Positions That Put HIM in Control

A recent BDSM survey revealed that over 60% of women fantasize about being dominated sexually, and whether you actually want to get involved with BDSM or not, it can be satisfying to hand over complete control to your partner. Here we list 5 of our favorite kinky sex positions that put him in control.

1. Sex Position: Up Against the Wall

Against the wall

Position Difficulty: 3/5

Sometimes the sexual energy is too much to be confined to a bed, and that’s where this position comes in. Whether it’s against your bedroom wall or somewhere more exciting, letting your partner pick you up requires a great deal of trust as he supports your body completely, and allows him to show off in a macho way. Because it can get so energetic, it can also be quite tiring, so you can also be bent backwards over counters or a high table if extra help is needed.

The Good: This position puts you face to face for greater intimacy, and if you wrap your legs securely around his hips, he’ll be able to pin your arms to the wall. Plus, the extra pressure against her pelvis makes this a great position for adding in a vibrating couples’ massager  because it’s sure to stay put.

The Bad: Even using the wall for support, this can be a pretty tiring position, and is best for a passionate quickie, or as a starting position.


2. Sex Position: Doggystyle (Or ‘coitus more ferarum’ if you’re fancy)

 Difficulty: 1/5

Rough, animalistic; this position is an oldie and a goodie. Besides offering a fantastic view, it leaves you available for all sorts of kinky play. As with any of these positions, you need to discuss your limits with your partner (which can be sexy in its own right!) because this position is perfect for spanking or light hair pulling. If you’re interested in exploring bondage, you can have your partner restrain your arms behind your back with his hand or a set of cuffs.

The Good: Great for deeper penetration, you can hook your feet around his knees or reposition your legs for changes in sensation.

The Bad: Deeper penetration is fantastic, until it isn’t. If he’s a well-endowed gentleman, he will need to be cognizant of how deep his thrusts are, because too deep of penetration can be quite painful for you (and not in a good way). Additionally, some men find that their staying power in this position is less than ideal; the best solution is to add in a vibrating cock ring and wear it upside down so you can feel the vibrations against your testicles, and she can enjoy them as well.

3. Sex Position: Divide and Conquer

Divide and conquer

Difficulty: 1/5

You already know that propping up your bottom during missionary positions allows for deeper access, but letting him pull you up into his lap puts yourself in a more vulnerable position, with most of your weight on your upper back and shoulders.

If he has larger hands, he should be able to hold your hands to your calves, though if you’re up for it (and flexible enough to keep your legs straight) he can tie your wrists to your legs using adjustable silk BOA ties, freeing up his hands to rove all over your body. If you start to bend your legs? Well, it’s up to him to think of appropriate punishment.

The Good: Guys, you’ll be able to watch her every gasping reaction to your movements, and be at an excellent eye level for intense dirty talk.

The Bad: As mentioned, this may take a bit more flexibility to keep your legs and arms spread, but they can also be moved over his shoulders if you need a break.

4. Sex Position: Kneeling V

kneeling v (1)

Difficulty: 4/5

This sex position takes strength and support – the quintessential pillars of sexual dominance. It leaves him in total control of your body, and you absolutely reliant on him to hold you up in his arms.

By crossing your ankles behind his head, you can squeeze tighter for more intense sensations, and he can easily control the speed and depth of his thrusts. It’s an intimate and powerful position in which he bears all your weight and positions you as he pleases – and, of course, how you please. This is a versatile position and the feeling of it can change with only subtle movements. For example, holding on to his head with one hand instead of two will make you lean back and use your hips more, and if he’s particularly strong he can bear your weight with one hand and hold you by the hair with the other.

The Good: Very powerful, completely under his control. Also, only tiny variations of this position can result in huge changes in sensation

The Bad: It requires strength and stamina for both of you.

5. Sex Position: Bend Over Backwards

Bend Over Backwards

Difficulty: 5/5

While not demanding the acrobatics or upper body strength of the previous positions, this one can still be a bit tricky to line up. Once you get there though, this position pays off with intense, sensual grinding.

He can push off his arms, as well as off your prone body, for support as he thrusts slowly and deeply. By holding your ankles together, it provides a tighter squeeze and a reminder that he’s in control. If his arms get sore, he can shift onto his knees and lean forward over you, giving him access to your oh-so-bitable neck, and the ability to hold your arms down.

The Good: As you’re positioned in front of your partner, you’ll be kept visually in the dark, heightening the senses of sight and sound as he grinds against you. Meanwhile, you can be overwhelmed by pleasure by grinding over the oh-so-petite yet stunningly powerful clitoral vibrator placed between your body and the floor.

The Bad: The position can be a bit awkward for some, so it might take some adjustment before you find the sweet spot.


Written by: Katy Thorn

Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for writing about sex, sexuality, and all things rated R. She received her degree in Women’s Studies with a focus in Intersectionality at the University of California, Berkeley (Go Bears!). She has a cat named Yoko, drinks too much black coffee, and hates writing bios.


  1. Love this. How do I make her squirt?

  2. Hey Komtos, great question! This is a hard one as each woman is different and respond to different things. Not every woman has the ability to squirt but it can sure be fun trying to find out with the help of a partner. The best advice I can give is to make sure your partner is relaxed and to not rush. If your partner is capable of squirting, it will come with practice and time. Have a look at this article to give you some tips!

  3. Komtos everyone has their quirks but before you really make her “squirt” do the research and make sure you find its something you really want to happen. Just a little piece of advice squirting as its called is simply just urination ,all women can accomplish it if they are relaxed enough and the right pressure is place on the bladder at climax yes that;s right bladder! Squirting has been scientifically proven to be urine mixed with female ejaculation which is a milky white creamy color and its consistency is like that of a jelly like lube.(normally) and its doesn’t gush. out like you see when you watch porn of women who squirt. All they have done is give golden showers a new name! So If piss is your thing kudos if not focus on making your girl climax you will know without all the mess!

    • Hi there,

      Although some women do release a small amount of urine during sex when excited, female ejaculation is not urine. There are also many different types of ejaculation from gushing, to squirting to g-spot orgasm, and they are all very different. Some women may ejaculate before climax, during or after as well. Each women is different (just like each man is) and their bodies react differently to different types of stimulation. We go into more detail in this article, it might be of interest to you.

  4. Nice dissertation on sexual positions. However I’m sensually frustrated with what has been viewed so far on the Internet. Are there any internet sites that depict men being shown in process of being fully striped by fully clothed female(s) wearing some type of sensual attire or costume?

  5. Some women squirt and some don’t. It’s that simple. I was with a woman who squirted a stream at my stomach while I was doing her. Others may dribble a bit or not at all.

  6. i love seeing men with men

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