His Manhood is Too Big: HELP!

This article was scientifically fact-checked by Social Psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

The old adage of never getting enough of a good thing isn’t always true; too much red wine with dinner makes us late for work the next day, too much rum raisin ice cream with our red wine makes us have to hit the gym more, but too much penis? That can make a girl run away screaming.

His Manhood is too big

A quick look through our internet histories proves that extra-large penises do in fact exist, but when these rare specimens are encountered in real life and not on a monitor, your brain begins swimming with questions. How does he walk around with that thing? Did it just look at me? How am I ever going to get that in me?

Since beginning this blog and asking for reader questions, what to do with a penis that’s too big has been one of the most common among them, meaning that unlike the unicorn, a super-sized penis is no mythical beast. When encountered out in the wild, there are a few tricks to have up your sleeve to tame that overly endowed mega manhood.

Never forget the Three F’s: Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay

After you’ve prepared yourself mentally, prepare yourself physically – and have fun doing it – by not skimping on the foreplay.

Take extra time with teasing to more properly prepare your body, allowing your sexual juices to begin flowing and getting your vagina well and properly ready to take on whatever comes along. Have him do this by focusing on your hot spots with his fingers or tongue, or by having him use a small, palm sized vibrator on you to add that extra oomph.

Also remember that the penetrative sex part of sex isn’t always the be-all, end-all of intimacy; mutual masturbation, oral sex, manual stimulation or stimulation with a sex toy; it’s all fair game, and all contributing to the same goal of satisfaction for both of you.

Always remember the Three L’s: Lube, Lube, Lube

One of the main reasons that foreplay is so important when dealing with a plus-sized package is that it helps you to naturally lubricate, making it easier and more comfortable in the insertion stage. However if time isn’t on your side and you just need it right now, then a bottle of quality sexual moisturizer is your best friend.

Apply it to the head and shaft of his sizable sex organ, as well as a dab on your vaginal opening to help him glide in and make the entire passionate process a much simpler, and much, much more comfortable process.

Be sure to recall the Three S’s: Slow, Slow, Slow

When it comes to big penises, there are two dimensions that need considering; girth, and length. Girth-related issues can be overcome with foreplay and lube, as seen in the Three F’s and Three L’s above, but an excessively lengthy love organ can present some particular problems of its own.

When the dong is long, there’s a much higher chance of his penis bumping your cervix during thrusting, which is almost always an instant mood killer, as anyone who has had their cervix smashed can agree.

A well-endowed gentleman should err on the side of being gentle, man; during both insertion and thrusting, he can’t go barging in like it’s the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan. What you want to use is patience and an even pace during penetration, and avoid the pain.

Spend the first few minutes of penetration with him making shallow thrusts before going deeper; this will be more enjoyable for you, as the nerves that we derive the most sexual pleasure from reside in the first two to three inches inside the vagina. Have him work this sensitive spot for a while, then increase the insertion when you’re good and ready.

When it comes to and extra-big appendage, don’t forget the Three X’s: XXXL Condoms!

No matter how large a thing he’s packing, your protection is still of utmost importance (and what the whole article is about anyhow). If you do happen to hook up with a well-hung person, then be sure to have the correct protection on-hand: we’re talking about XL condoms of course.

While the onus should fall on the person who’s packing the penis to bring the correctly-sized condoms for his particular prick, if he’s not brought his own protection then having some L, XL or XXL-sized condoms on hand won’t leave you both wanting.

We’d never forgive ourselves for leaving out the Three T’s: Tech, Tech Tech

Say fellas, if your penis is too big but you don’t know how to use it properly (properly in this case meaning in a way that your partner is comfortable with), then you’re wasting a natural wealth of pleasure for the both of you.

Like for instance; during penetrative sex, do you know which areas within your partner your extra large member is putting the most pressure on or transmitting the most friction to? That would be some valuable info to know, right?

Rather than the trial-and-error method that large lads have always had to rely on, the new field of Sextech can truly come in handy here. The newest advancements in pleasure do more than just provide incredible levels of stimulation: a Sextech item like the LELO F1s is able to provide feedback about your performance — it’s a masturbation sleeve that can even tell you which contact points your penis is stimulating — and this is information you can take with you into the real world.

It behooves you to keep in mind the Three P’s: Position, Position, Position

The cowgirl position offers you the perfect amount of controlAs long as you choose your sex position wisely, even the biggest penis can be tamed.

Sexual positions that offer you total control are the ones you should go for, as they allow you to dictate the depth and pace of penetration, and position him and his large penis exactly where you want them.

With a well-hung guy, the classic girl-on-top position offers you this perfect amount of control, as you use your thighs to control depth, and get a great workout at the same time!

This is not to say that there are impossible positions that you simply cannot do if he’s got a large one; any and every position can be tried and enjoyed by both of you if there’s a healthy degree of bedroom communication. Letting him know what works, doesn’t work, and how things feel gives you just as much control as being on top, which, if you recall, makes up the Three C’s: Communication, Communication, Communication!

Facts checked by:

Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. Dr. Lehmiller has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. He helps people maintain healthy intimate lives through science-based, sex-positive education via his Sex and Psychology blog, workshops, and frequent media appearances.

Website | Academic | Instagram | Twitter

Written by: Katy Thorn

Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for writing about sex, sexuality, and all things rated R. She received her degree in Women’s Studies with a focus in Intersectionality at the University of California, Berkeley (Go Bears!). She has a cat named Yoko, drinks too much black coffee, and hates writing bios.


  1. What do ya do with a guy has a small penis? 1 who’s under 5inches!

  2. Teach him to use his tongue, get some nice toys.

  3. Sometimes there’s such a thing as too much – but no matter what the size, every woman needs to make sure her guy keeps his tool in good health. Too many men neglect this, thinking, “Hey, it takes care of itself.” Men need to daily use a first rate penis health cream to keep their equipment in solid shape. The best cream will have vitamin A (which addresses that specific penis odor some men develop), as well as a powerful antioxidant like alpha lipoic acid, which helps avoid that dry, wrinkly penis look.

  4. Having experience with this, I’d say definitely let him know what works and what doesnt for you, otherwise it can be a mood killer. Having said that I find sit can also depend on how i’m feeling.. sometimes its fine, others not… all about mutual understanding.

  5. Mike, what part did you agree with?

  6. Actually being on top can be uncomfortable too, all your weight is an obstacle as it pulls you down on him. Especially if you are short, and have short legs. I’ve found that being on my stomach and him behind me is actually a really great position. Also regular doggy style.

  7. Snap! I find being on my tummy is good but traditional doggy is just too much sometimes. The best position I find though is sitting up face to face while I’m on my knees- lets me decide how much I can take!

  8. I really like the Three’s… Hahahaha…

    Nice post btw and great idea flow…

  9. Hey, thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it 🙂 Make sure to sign up to the Newsletter to get updates!

  10. Size matters, but the most important thing is to please your partner.

  11. This really helped thanks

  12. Myself and my fiancée are issues because i have a large and girthy penis and her vagina is small and not use to such a large penis. She can’t last to long because it tends to hurt her. I try eating her out on and off to keep things going but when she climaxes were fine until i continue to hit her gspot and her legs give out and we have to stop. Ive explored BDSM for years while shes only have “average” sex so i sacrifice for her but it gets frustrating when i dont get to climax vaginally because she cant take how long i can last in bed plus my penis size. Any suggestions to make it easier on her?

  13. Sonya Parson-Morris

    Pop continue to eat from the front and back, suck her toes, and give her the long d and she will have the best orgasm and won’t have time to think of anything else but try to keep getting that feeling. I love that pleasure/pain feeling. That’s what makes it good. Try positions that she has more control and feels less penetration.

  14. I for one enjoyed my ex’s large penis. I believe it was an acquired taste for me. I actually enjoyed the pain and according to my ob/gyn I had trauma to my cervix. With emotions anything can be enjoyable.

  15. I have a large penis but my girlfriend doesn’t seem to care. She said she likes it as it is but, I can’t help but feel guilty after sex when she experiencing pain in THAT part. However, even if I want to be gentle in making love, my gf urges me to thrust faster and harder even if it hurts her so I researched on how to have sex with large penis for my girlfriend. I think this article helped. Thanks!

  16. My boyfriend is well endowed. My first husband was well endowed too and it hurt really bad. I did like the hurt. The thing is: it’s been years since I dated a well endowed guy. All of the guys I dated were average or below average. My second husband was average and he could make me reach an orgasm just by looking at me. Now my boyfriend, he will just start kissing me and then stop. It’s like he wants to just put it in me and thrust. I got a lot of pain on my cervix which required me to seek medical attention as we speak. Now, I have tried different positions. The one that worked the last time was doggy style. I found the girl on top gets me orgasm but he comes too fast. I think that’s part of the problem. He just doesn’t last. I take a long time to orgasm and he just come withing a few minutes while I need more than a few minutes. We love each other but I have faked orgasm countless of time. We been together for a month and I can count with a hand how many times I have reach an orgasm. We have sex 5 days of the week/three times and at others is only two or one day. I’m talking about 14 times a month. I told him I think I’m broken. I don’t know what to do. I really love him cause he is an amazing guy and the thing is he has been cheated before and I think is because he doesn’t last very long.

  17. I for one strongly believe that all women can cater any size dick even huge dick like a horse, why I am saying this because ladies vergina are naturally elestic and they can give birth? Imagine the size of the baby head, when the baby head pushed out of the vergin, the vergina expand by 10cm wide by itself in order for the baby to come out. So yeah ladies don’t care about the size😁

    • When most women are aroused, their vaginas have the ability to both grow in length and in width, however it is very different than giving birth. During pregnancy, the hips and cervix change shape to prepare for dialation, which does not occur during intercourse.

    • Gross, ppl without vaginas or vulvas should speak so crassly. It feels rapey AF.

  18. I said what what in the butt

  19. Well, I’m new to this site and I am researching because for the first time I’m having dryness issues. I’ll be completely moist and lubricated, but when we begin making love I dry out and I am wondering if it is because he is so endowed and my body is just not used to it. He will spit on it to wet it. It’s so freaking embarrassing. I’ve never had this issue before. I’ve been celibate for the past 2 yrs so I am more than turned on and attracted to him. I don’t know what to do

    • Hi there! Dryness is common and there’s nothing to be embarassed about. We recommend using lube during foreplay and especially before penetration. If it continues, have a chat with your gyno.

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