How Do You Have Underwater Sex?
If you’ve been wondering about how to enjoy an even wetter and wilder time with a partner, then surely you’ve thought about doing it underwater. The underwater realm is, after all, the wettest place imaginable. However (and this is a pretty big HOWEVER), before you go and get your snorkel, there’s something you’ve got to know…
Underwater sex isn’t all that great. Or rather, underwater sex isn’t really great at all.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but we’re telling you this as people who know. Also, if you just think about it for a few seconds, you’ll start to understand that on the very face of it, having sex in a lake or a pool may not be so hot after all. Really, think about it: soaking wet hair, clammy skin, cold water—and those are the least of the issues you might face.
So here, we’re going to list in some greater detail the reasons why sex underwater might not be such a hot idea after all, but we’re also going to list some suggestions that will still help you explore this particular kind of aquatic erotica. To start with the biggest issue against underwater sex:
Water washes away natural lubricants.
Yes, while you may think that wetter is better, being submerged in water won’t make your body more slippery, especially not where it counts. The natural lubricants created from the vagina can get swept away while underwater and cause chafing during sex.
The chafing can cause tears, which leads to tears.
Does that make sense? What we mean to say is that the chafing that occurs when you’re having penetrative sex underwater can cause vaginal or anal tears due to the lack of lubricant. And those tears will cause tears—from your eyes. Get it? All this to say that you might think water would be an effective lubricant, but it’s not. You can add lubricants to facilitate underwater sex, however they will wash away very quickly as well.
You could end up with a UTI or other kind of infection.
Having penetrative sex underwater is going to push a lot of that water up into whatever orifice is being penetrated (like for instance, a penis repeatedly going in and out of a vagina). Especially in the P-in-V scenario, the surrounding water can get pushed up into the urethra, and not just the water, but whatever is in it as well.
Remember that most bodies of water, especially public ones like pools and lakes, harbor a lot of bacteria that you’re much better off not introducing to these very sensitive areas of your body.
Okay, so there are a number of reasons not to have sex fully submerged underwater, but if you’re still raring to go on an undersea adventure, there are some ways that you can make your Jacques Cousteau coitus happen.
Choose a controlled environment, like a shower.
Having sex in the shower is a tried and true way of adding some wet to your wild: the water is clean, and you can control the direction of the spray as well as the temperature. As long as you’ve got a working knowledge of standing-up sex positions, then you’re pretty much ready for shower sex.
Taking a bath with a partner tends to lead to sex—relaxing warm water + nudity = arousal—but instead of having sex in the water, try going down on your partner while they sit on the edge of the tub or do it doggy-style with both of your genitals above the water line. Just be careful you don’t flood the bathroom, because mopping up isn’t our idea of proper aftercare.
Speaking of aftercare, having sex in any kind of water will require you both to rinse off and use the bathroom directly after. Also, because being in hot water (as in a tub or the shower) can actually dehydrate you, remember to drink some water so you’re ready to go at it again. Maybe even on dry land.
Colin Hanna is a Volonté contributor and freelance writer who lives in Shanghai, China with his wife. He’s written extensively about sex and human sexuality for LELO since 2010.