Times have changed. And having sex has taken on a whole new meaning. You see, many people believe that the only definition of sex is p-in-v penetration. Nope! And even if we look at different kinds of penetration, such as anal or pegging, this too is not the only way to have sex.

Sex is individualistic and unique to each person and couple. Sex can be whatever you want it to be, whether it’s simply getting intimate in various ways with or without your clothes on. Sex, in a way, is the ability for one, two, or more people to come together and share a sexually blissful experience.

So, to try to change the narrative surrounding what people perceive sex to be, we’re going to give you a few insights. We’re going to talk about all the ways you can have sex that don’t involve penetration. 

Oh, and FYI: sex without penetration is more commonly known as “outercourse”.

What is Non-Penetrative Sex aka Outercourse?

Outercourse can take on different meanings for different people. For some, outercourse is to engage in everything sexually, besides p-in-v penetration. For others, outercourse means being intimate in a variety of ways that don’t involve penetration at all (such as fingering, using internal sex toys, and anal sex).

Why is outercourse so appealing? Well, for one, it’s a way to slowly build up intimacy, safety, and trust with a partner. It’s also a way in which to prevent the spread of STIs and unwanted pregnancies.

So, what are the different ways to have fun with outercourse?

9 Ways to Have Sex Without Penetration 

Outercourse (sex without penetration) usually includes kissing, massaging, dry humping, and various other forms of touching besides penetration. 

For some however, it can also include mutual masturbation, manual masturbation, using external sex toys, different types of oral sex, solo masturbation, and phone sex. The way in which outercourse is defined is up to each individual, so the term can be used loosely.

Here are some fun ways to experiment with outercourse… 

1. Kissing

Did you know that kissing can be just as intimate as penetrative sex? This is because the hormone oxytocin is released, which is considered the “love hormone”. Basically, kissing has the power to stir up feelings of affection and attachment. And if you want to explore further, kissing different parts of your partner’s body can be entirely erotic, and can help you discover new sexy spots. 

2. Massaging

Massaging a partner, in general, can be a sensual and arousing act. Feeling their body slowly, inching your way to their erogenous zones. And if you add in a few extra touches, such as scented massage oils, candles, music and more, you can really tap into your five senses.

3. Dry Humping

It may sound like an act for teenagers exploring their sexuality, but dry humping can be extremely satisfying for adults. In fact, the type of clothing you’re wearing could aid in even more sexual tension. Think about wearing something that feels good on the skin, or something that can make you feel all kinds of lust when rubbed.

4. Mutual Masturbation 

It’s often the case that you know your body better than anyone else. So, why not show your partner how you like to be touched? Mutual masturbation, in this context, means both partners masturbating themselves at the same time in front of each other. It also plays into the whole voyeur/exhibitionist fantasy, which often results in delicious climaxing.

5. Manual Masturbation

Instead of using toys or your fingers to enter the body, both partners could manually masturbate one another with gentle strokes and rubs. And if you add in some kind of flavoured or warming/cooling effect lube into the mix, it could be even more exciting.

6. Sex Toys

There are so many sex toys available that offer external stimulation. And the fun part is that you can use them either solo or with a partner. For example, the LELO DOT is a clitoral vibrator made to stimulate your sweet spot. And the LELO SMART WAND is a full-body massager, allowing you to caress your or your partner’s body sweetly without any penetration. 

7. Oral Sex

The term ‘oral sex’ is a broad one, and can include acts such as cunnilingus, blowjobs, rimming, and other things that require the use of one’s mouth. This makes it a wonderfully diverse way to experience sex with your partner without any penetration involved. 

8. Solo Masturbation 

Solo masturbation is one of the most pleasurable forms of self-care. And it’s also a way to really get to know your own body. Touching your various erogenous zones means learning more about what feels good and what doesn’t. This is an excellent way to have even more fun with a partner that doesn’t involve penetration, as you can verbalise what you love.

9. Phone Sex/Sexting

A type of sex that doesn’t involve people touching each other at all—phone sex or sexting! This kind of intimacy is a game changer, as it can get both partners feeling riled up and turned on. This, in turn, could lead to even hotter experiences together or during solo play. Just be sure to be safe when sexting and make sure to only send photos to those you trust. In fact, for your safety, nudes without your face in them are probably the safest.

What Are the Benefits of Non-Penetrative Sex?

For starters, did you know that, according to research printed in Elisabeth A Llyod’s book, The Case of the Female Orgasm, a mere 25 percent of vulva owners orgasm from p-in-v penetration? Simply put, it just doesn’t give them enough clitoral stimulation, which most women need in order to orgasm. 

Then, there’s also the case of vulva owners having issues that make penetration uncomfortable. Conditions such as menopause may cause vaginal dryness, dyspareunia, and endometriosis can all cause painful penetration.

For penis owners, there are conditions that make penetrative sex more difficult to have, such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. 

Additionally, regardless of gender, there are factors that can hinder the ability to enjoy penetrative sexual, such as medical conditions, certain medications, and mental health concerns.

With that, exploring different ways to enjoy intimacy is always a good idea. It not only keeps your sex life more diverse, but also gives you the opportunity to feel new kinds of sensations and to get creative!