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9 Ways to Explore Exhibitionism with Public Play

Here's How Public Exhibitionists Have Sex

While it’s true that most of us have been THAT couple before – the one that stopped being two separate people and instead became a two-headed, single-mouthed walking Public Display of Affection – this usually slowed down after a few months of dating, or once we left our teens.


But for some people, that spark of excitement you get from sneaking into a closet to make out or sexting your partner at a busy party never goes away, rather it becomes a thrill they crave.

There’s something about getting sexy in public that is irresistible to thrill–seekers and the more-reserved of us alike. Sure, part of it is being a new setting  (sex within the same 4 walls of your bedroom can get a bit boring) but there’s more to it than that. Allowing ourselves to be sexy where anyone might be able (but hopefully won’t) see you let us flirt with a deeply held taboo.

Below we delve into exactly why public hanky panky is so hot, and some different ways you can explore, depending on how daring you want to be.

The Public Exhibitionist Hiding Inside Us All

We aren’t born with an innate desire to cover our bodies from other people; it’s something we learn as kids, and we learn it pretty early on. Stripping down in front of other people goes against everything we normally do, so it’s always a bit exciting. Sure, we may get used to being naked in front of certain people, like our partner or some of our close friends, but just changing the setting (skinny dipping at the lake, for example) and we can’t help but feel like we’re being deliciously naughty.

Exhibitionism is the pleasure derived from exposing one’s self and it gets a pretty bad rap because we tend to associate it with people flashing their genitals at unsuspecting and unwilling spectators. It’s actually a broad term that can apply to this, but can apply to people who enjoy flashing people, say, at Mardi Gras, or like sharing intimate pictures with enthusiastic recipients online. Exhibitionists can also be people who enjoy having sex in public places because there is a theoretical risk of getting caught, but they don’t actually want to be seen.

Letting Your Sexy Self Out of the Bedroom

As a cornerstone of kinky play (and sex positivity in general), when you’re exploring kinks and fetishes, you need to ensure things stay Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Involving people that haven’t consented is never ok, and that applies here too; don’t base your play on purposely getting caught by random people.  (It’s also worth noting that in many places, public sex is illegal, though in some places you can get away with it as long as there was a reasonable expectation for privacy, such as having car sex in an empty parking lot.)

Now, if you do have an enthusiastic partner that’s got the same exhibitionist streak you do (or an appreciation for it) here are some fun ways to explore!


Having sex in a car is not just for your teenage years; here are 3 ways to get your van a-rockin’.

Level 1:Park on a little-used side road after midnight, and use those stick-on sun-shades for extra privacy in the back seat.

Level 2: Check out a pop up drive in movie event, making sure you park somewhere near the back and that it’s a movie that people aren’t going to be bringing their kids to watch.

Level 3: Use the outside of the car; it can be the hood, the bed (if you have a pick up), the top of the trunk, even the roof if you’re feeling brave. You can explore different positions as they complement the shape of the car, just remember to wipe off the body-part prints after.

Wine, Dine & Grind

Some might say going out for dinner is a cliché date, but we think there’s plenty of opportunities to satisfy a few appetites at once.

Level 1: Whether you’re playing footsie, or delicately ‘helping your partner wipe a bit of dessert off their lip with your mouth, a dimly lit restaurant with a long tablecloth can be an intimate location for wandering body parts. Be aware though, the wait staff is probably 100% aware of what’s going on.

Level 2: Both you and your partner will excuse yourselves from the meal―at separate times― to the washroom and, with the addition of a discreet sex toy, get yourselves off. You can offer some photographic (or video) proof to your partner back at the table, but the idea is that you make it a competition. One partner will time while the other is away, and the person who gets themselves off the fastest will get a reward (or punish the ‘loser’ as they see fit).

Level 3: Try for the always-tricky coupled restaurant sex experience. There are a few tips to follow for this one. Firstly, don’t use the ladies room; you might assume it’ll be more pleasant, but if it’s a multi-stall restroom, the other users are much more likely to forget the complaint for a mental high-five in the men’s room. If it’s a single use room equipped with a baby-changing station, please don’t use it. Not only is it a bit creepy, changing tables are not designed to hold the weight of two adults.

Dirty Pictures

This category deals with both actual out-in-public exhibitionism and also one of this kink’s thoroughly modern developments. Using technology, we’re able to ‘expose’ ourselves from the comfort of our own home. Just remember our tips for making sure your sexy pictures stay secure!

Level 1: Pick a sexy movie, and pose for pictures that will help guess what movie it is. For example, if you pick something like Wild Things you can send a picture of yourself topless in a pool or pouring champagne on yourself.

Level 2: Hit a matinee with your partner when you know the theater will be empty (again, pick a movie that no one is going to be taking their kids to). To make it extra intense (and competitive) you can both use a remote control vibrator and trade the controls; you’ll both have to see who can last the longest ‘paying attention’ to the movie without coming as their partner controls their pleasure.

Level 3: Play webcam performer for your partner over Skype. This includes talking to each other as if you’re strangers meeting online, and having one partner act a performer with the other giving directions.

About Lea Marsden

Lea hails from Colorado, but has packed up her bags to travel around Europe and dispense sex advice and relationship wisdom from her laptop in any cafe she can find.


  1. I have done some pretty wild exhibitionist things that have really been a lot of fun. By far, my most public exposture has come from having a domme (I’m male) control me..She has full rights to share my pics or make me strip anywhere for anyone. She loves embarrassing me so makes me very public.
    Years ago, when vhs tapes where popular, I rented a porn that was mainly for a female audience. By covering the locks on the tape with something, you could record over the movies. I found a part that I could imitate and dubbed my video clip in.
    By leaving a nude picture in a bar some night. Everyone’s of age, drunk girls can be cruel and show pics to everyone in the place. One ended up in a locked glass display case all night.

  2. public exhibitionism in sports attire. with all the spandex, lycra nd tights nylon elastane and other thin micro fibre stretched fabric all you have to do is buy a size small and squeeze into a tight pair of shorts with no underwear and a few elastic bands and whammo your lunch box is now huge and on display and socially acceptable. I teach college girls and every week I get more and more outrageous and daring. the rush is worth it. they all whisper and giggle and comment. I love my sports and dance gear I am free to express my sexuality and be sexy and be socially acceptable , mildly indecent at times.

  3. The thought of being seen naked especially if it’s someone I don’t know, has always excited me. I’ve always liked talking my clothes off when nobody’s around and then walking as far away from them as I dare. One time while on some biking trails I Arizona, no one was around so I got completely naked and walked away. Not long after 4 women caught me by surprise, I didn’t hear them til they were standing in front of me. They were cool about it, made a few jokes and definitely got to see all of me. I loved every minute of it

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