9 Ways to Explore Exhibitionism with Public Play
This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz.
Sure, many of us have been that couple! Kissing furiously in public with no shame, as feelings of passion and lust totally take over our entire being.
And while such ferverent public kissing often fades after time, there are some who continue to find endless thrill when it comes to PDA (public displays of affection).
There are also people who are totally aroused at the idea of getting hot and heavy in the public eye. Will they get caught? Or will they walk away with a dirty little secret? One may never know.
Join us on a rather interesting chat about doing the hanky panky in public.
By the end of this article, you’ll be able to:
- Understand what exhibitionism is
- Tell the difference between exhibitionism and public play
- Understand the sexual appeal of playing in public
- Identify different ways to experiment with getting it on in a car, at a restaurant, at the theatre, and online
The Sexual Appeal: Is There a Public Player Hiding Inside All of Us?
We aren’t born with an innate desire to cover our bodies from other people; it’s something we learn as kids, and we learn it pretty early on.
Stripping down in front of other people goes against everything we normally do, so it’s generally a bit exciting. Sure, we may get used to being naked in front of certain people, like our partner or some of our close friends, but just by changing the setting, (skinny dipping at the lake, for example) we can’t help but feel like we’re being deliciously naughty.
What is Exhibitionism?
Exhibitionism is when one gains pleasure, and or has a compulsion to, exposie their genitals to others. And in actuality, this label tends to get a pretty bad rap.
This is because we tend to associate it with people wearing oversized trench coats with nothing underneath, roaming the streets and flashing unsuspecting and unwilling spectators.
And interestingly, exhibitionism is a broad term that can apply to this, but it can also apply to people who enjoy having sex in public places because there is a theoretical risk of getting caught.
The differencebetween those who compulively expose themselves to others without consent and those who enjoy sex in public places is that the latter don’t actually want to be seen by others except their partner, who most importantly, has given consent).
Letting Your Sexy Self Out of the Bedroom
As a cornerstone of kinky play (and sex positivity in general), when you’re exploring kinks and fetishes, you need to ensure things stay safe, sane, and consensual.
Involving people that haven’t given their consent is never ok, and that applies here too. In other words: don’t base your play on purposely getting caught by random people. Remember—these random people have NOT given their consent.
It’s also worth noting that in many places, public sex is illegal. Yes, there are some regions where you can get away with it as long as there is a reasonable expectation for privacy – such as having car sex in an empty parking lot, for example.
So, if you have an enthusiastic partner that’s got the same exhibitionist streak you do, (or an appreciation for it) here are some fun ways to explore this adventurous activity!
Auto-Eroticism: Getting Freaky in a Car
Having sex in a car is not just for those experimental teenage years. It’s actually a heck of a lot of fun for adults too!
Fancy getting your van a-rockin’? Here are three enticing ways to make it happen:
1. After Dark Antics
Park on a less-busy road after midnight to get those juices flowing. It doesn’t require a lot of effort, and could even be an impromptu session, making it all the more exciting.
To pull this adventure off, you could use those stick-on sun-shades for extra privacy in the back seat. It would also prove beneficial, if you’re a woman, to wear a skirt or dress… for obvious reasons.
2. An Erotic Drive-In
Choose a drive-in movie for your next date, and be sure to park somewhere near the back. Also, make sure that you choose a movie that’s not suitable for kids.
Then, go to town with the one you’re with because it’ll surely be more fun than whatever film you’re supposed to be watching.
Tip: cinema sex is just as hot!
With this one, the same little tips and tricks above apply (sun shades and skirts/dresses).
3. A Car As a Prop for Sex
Use the outside of the car as your little sex prop. You could make use of the hood, the bed (if you have a pick up), the top of the trunk, or even the roof if you’re feeling brave!
By doing this, you can explore different positions depending on the shape of the car. For example, you could place your hands on the window, allowing for doggy style, or you could lean back onto the hood of the car to enjoy missionary sex.
The possibilities are seemingly endless for the sexually imaginative.
Wine, Dine & Grind: Getting Freaky at a Restaurant
Some might say going out for dinner is a cliché date. We think that it’s a great opportunity to satisfy a number of different appetites at once!
Consider one (or all three) of these sassy ways to get it on at a restaurant:
4. Wandering Parts
Whether you’re playing footsie, or delicately helping your partner wipe a bit of dessert off their lip with your mouth, a dimly lit restaurant with a long tablecloth can be an intimate location for wandering body parts.
Alternatively, a remote-controlled sex toy could definitely spice up the evening…
5. A Sexual Race
A delightful meal, great company, and a race to see who orgasms first? Sounds like a five-star evening!
Try this idea for size: You and your partner should excuse yourselves from the table―at separate times― to go to the bathroom.
Then, by any means necessary, give yourself an orgasms, and provide photographic (or video) proof for your partner back at the table.
The aim of the game: a competition to see who can get off faster! The person who gets themselves off the fastest will get a reward, while the loser will be punished…firm but fair.
6. Bathroom Bliss
The bathroom cubicle for a bit a fun? Seems like an excellent way to pass the time while waiting for drinks.
To pull this off, you’re going to have to be wise when it comes to space. But fear not! There are actually a few positions that can go down perfectly in this scenario.
Place one leg on the toilet seat with hands pressed firmly on the wall to create the perfect opportunity for a bit of doggy style or anal sex.
You could also enjoy a spot of oral sex while you’re there, with one partner sitting on the toilet seat and the other getting on their knees.
Dirty Pictures & Videos: Getting Freaky Online
By using modern-day technology, we’re able to ‘expose’ ourselves in an array of different situations – one that your partner may be peeking at while sitting in front of their boss, close friend, or co-worker!
To get the dirty photo ball rolling, you could:
7. Play Sex Charades
Pick a sexy movie, and pose for pictures that will help your partner guess what movie it is. It’s like normal charades…but way more fun!
For example, you could pick something like Wild Things, and send a picture of yourself topless in a pool or pouring champagne on yourself. A treat for everyone involved.
8. (Remote) Control Everything
Hit a matinee with your partner when you know the theater will be empty (again, pick a movie that no one is going to be taking their kids to).
Then, use a remote control vibrator, or any other remote-controlled sex toy, and trade the controls. You’ll both have to see who can last the longest when it comes to ‘paying attention’ to the movie without climaxing.
9. All Yours
Naughty video calling… the perfect way to incorporate dirty talk and sexually suggestive acts.
You could play a little game where one partner gives the other sexual directions for them to follow, giving you both a little taste of the BDSM lifestyle. You’ll never know if you like it unless you try it!
Helpful hint: Always remember to keep your sexy pictures and videos safe. Revenge porn is a thing, and it ain’t pretty.
So, if your motto is that you’d try anything twice, these erotic scenarios for kinky public fun are a must for your bucket list.
Sure, you could get your adrenaline from skydiving or shark cage diving, but getting your rocks off is a far sexier way to enjoy life.
Better yet, add them all to the bucket list because, YOLO!
Facts checked by:
Dr. Laurie Mintz
Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., is a professor at the University of Florida, teaching Human Sexuality to hundreds of students a year. She has published over 50 research articles and is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Mintz also has maintained a private practice for over 30 years, working with individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. She is also an author and speaker, spreading scientifically-accurate, sex-positive information to enhance sexual pleasure.
For Lea, what once was “a European summer abroad” turned into traveling the world and studying sexual cultural differences for the past 6 years. She has a PhD in Gender & Sexuality and has a theory that dating guys in their twenties is an unpaid internship. She’s currently writing from a cafe in New Zealand.