Dear LELO: Is Sex In Water Safe?

Dear LELO,
My friends and I had a discussion recently about whether it is safe to have sex in water (pool, jacuzzi etc.) or not and honestly, not one of us was completely convinced on our answers. Please help by shedding some light on the wet, wet, wet issue!
I Love Pool Sex

Dear I Love Pool Sex,

I hate to burst your bubble (bath) but the truth of the matter is that while many movies and TV shows have made getting wet and wild look pretty steamy,  you’d be heading for some dangerous waters.

Wetter Ain’t Always Better

But hang on, don’t we always say ‘the wetter the better’?  Well the ‘wetter’ that you want during sex is slick and slippery, not really like water at all. The vagina is self-lubricating and should you need extra help from water- or silicone-based lube for anal or just for the feels, these are both most likely to be washed away in the ocean or swimming pool. Not only will it make things a lot less comfortable for both partners, the person on the receiving end of any penetration is likely to also be receiving some serious micro-tearing in their sensitive bits, which can lead to infection – including higher chances of contracting an STI.

And not to further rub salt water on the wound, but condoms are less likely to work in water. They’re more likely to tear through lack of lubrication, and latex can also degrade in heat and chlorine.

Irritating Irrigation

As much as you may have been inspired by a certain sexy scene in the 90s film masterpiece Wild Things, pools and jacuzzis are a definitely-not-so-sexy cocktail of different chemicals which some people may find irritating when getting frisky (we know, we’re really kicking the dog while it’s down). Even if you’re thinking of taking your sexual escapades to the outdoors for some sex au naturale, don’t be fooled; the absence of those irritating chemicals means that there is plenty of bacteria and waterborne who-know-what-else that can get all up in your junk.

‘But LELO, what about some sexy mouth action?’ I hear you cry. Even if you think your lungs are up to the challenge of an underwater blow job or lick out, which we’d be truly impressed by, unfortunately you’re going to have to be extra careful. Watch what kind of body of water your attempt this in, because ‘beaver fever’ is not nearly as fun a disease as it sounds. Yelp!

The Lucky One

However, don’t give up on your wet dreams just yet; “it wasn’t over,and it still isn’t over!” Your steamy water fantasies can be fulfilled in a magical place… *drum roll please*…the shower! Although this may seem like a let down, by setting the right atmosphere and trying out some new sex positions, you’ll turn your bathroom into the Cote d’Azur and be screaming ‘Oh mon Dieu’ in no time. We recommend some candles, sexy music and your favourite waterproof sex toy.

Keep your lube at hand so you can reduce the risk of tears and infections while making your aquatic romp more pleasurable, then go make like Bond and Sévérine and let the SkyFall!

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