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Mastering Male Masturbation

Despite centuries of demonization through shame and accusations of mental infirmity (as well as some fairly inventive purported outcomes, from hairy palms to blindness), we now accept that not only is masturbation normal, it’s actually healthy for you.

And while sex educators are helping break down the stigma around self-pleasure, there are many of us who were given no such instruction about why we masturbate, or even how to masturbate. Thus, we decided to try our hand (pun intended) at explaining male masturbation and clearing up some misconceptions.

Male Masturbation Tips

Why Do Men Masturbate?

Many young men discovered self-pleasure before they could even articulate why and what they were doing, supported by the widespread but erroneous characterization of men as sex-obsessed auto-erotic automatons.

So what’s the purpose of masturbation? Well, we know it must serve some purpose, because we’re not the only creatures to do it. Most mammals masturbate in one way or another: for bonobos masturbation is social. And when you see a dog grinding on a pillow, that’s a form of masturbation. The dog knows the pillow is not another dog. We have a biological compulsion to share our DNA, it’s in all of us. The purpose of masturbation, then, is not only a response to the urge to procreate, but also to familiarize ourselves with our own reproductive processes should the opportunity arise to pass on our DNA. That’s the biological purpose, but that’s slightly different from the reasons for masturbation.

We could describe the reason for masturbating as simply for the immediate enjoyment of sensual touch and immediate release (which is a completely valid reason for both men and women to masturbate). But there are several other reasons for why male masturbation can be such a good thing.

  • It can help with premature ejaculation. By learning your body’s responses and cues during solo play, it can help you become more aware of them (and thus able to exert control over them) during partnered play.
  • You can reduce the chances of developing prostate cancer. When you masturbate often, the seminal fluid that is stored in the prostate is released. Storage of stagnant semen for too long can cause problems such as prostatitis (which can ultimately develop into prostate cancer if left unchecked), genital pain, symptoms of erectile dysfunction and frequent nighttime urination
  • If you suffer from insomnia, masturbation is a healthy and infinitely more effective than any pill remedy.
  • Additionally, masturbation is an easy (and enjoyable) way to decrease stress or tension, whether it be caused by an important presentation at work, a sporting event or a special date. Your orgasms release of endorphins that will generate a pleasant state of tranquility.

A Sight to Be Held

While the idea that it’s only men and not also women that enjoy erotic visual stimulation is patently untrue, it does not mean that most men don’t still primarily rely on visual media for their erotic content.

Whether watching porn or reading erotica, it’s important to contextualize this fantasy-fulfillment as simply that: indulging in a fantasy. Images or stories that arouse us can often do simply because they do represent a taboo, and may or may not indicate a fetish or desire that the person actually wants to act out. In short, you’re not defined by your masturbatory source material, so don’t judge yourself too harshly if you’re aroused by unusual visual stimulus. Enjoy yourself.


The Basics of Male Masturbation

Generally, male masturbation involves using one’s dominant hand around the penis to exert pressure in a swift up-and-down motion. However, just because that’s the typical way doesn’t mean it’s the only way, or, even that you ought to only have one way to masturbate.

For example, many men tried the ‘penis between the mattress and box spring trick’ in their youth before discovering they could exert more pressure through their palm and fingers. Many also then settled into a default ‘death grip’ mode of masturbation, which can unfortunately make you less sensitive to other stimulation if employed every time.

Experimenting with different speeds and different pressure variations by shifting the hold of your fingers, or even using your non-dominant had lets you explore ‘different’ ways to orgasm, but do require some conscious effort on your part when you’re used to the quick and dirty orgasm.
During masturbation you can also use the unused hand to give yourself a few caresses on the body: abdomen, inner thighs, neck, shoulders … while not strictly involved with causing the orgasm, thrilling your secondary erogenous zones at the same time help you focus on the pleasure of the act.

To train yourself to prolong pleasure and manage its ejaculations, you can practice edging. This means stopping just before you feel that that you’re about to ejaculate. A good technique to be tested alone and reproduce during partnered sex!



Personal moisturizers make just about every sexual situation better. Fact. During masturbation they facilitate skin-on-skin rubbing without uncomfortable friction, and they are specifically meant for your sensitive areas, making them infinitely more practical than hand lotion.

Vibrating Cock Rings

If you’re not yet sure if you like the sensation of vibrations incorporated into your masturbation routine, you can always try a vibrating ring such as TOR™ 2 or PINO™, which are some of the most popular sex toy designed for men.

While designed for use during partnered sex, cock rings can also serve a solo purpose. Try either wearing the ring with the vibrating portion turned upside down under your penis and against your testicles, or use it as a finger vibe in your other hand on any other erogenous zone that strikes your fancy.

Masturbation Cups

Though oft misunderstood, there’s nothing inherently shameful about using masturbation cups like BLOWHOLE for masturbation – they’re a great way to switch up the sensation by providing textures and pressure different than your own hand, and even vibrations!

LOKI WAVE blueAnal Masturbation

Of course, the penis is not the only pleasure-packed part of the male anatomy. Just as women can enjoy the sensations surrounding anal sex and play, many men enjoy stimulation of the opening or just within, with a finger, or a vibrator. But, it’s a few inches higher where intense orgasm can be made possibly―through prostate massage.

Some men claim that their orgasm is up to 33% more intense when they massage their prostate, and if you use a massager such as LOKI™ Wave (which uses WaveMotion™ to curl back and forth against your prostate to mimic manual massage) you may be able to achieve a hands-free orgasm!


However you choose to go about it, it pays to remember the wise words of Woody Allen: “Masturbation is having sex with someone you really love.”

Masturbation truly is self-love if you take the time to learn your body and your desires, which ultimately lead to more enjoyment as well as more confidence in your sexuality when you’re with a partner. Once you know exactly what you want, you can help show your partner how you want to be touched!


About Katy Thorn

Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for - and a history of - writing about sex, sexuality and all that it entails. She spends her time running, reading, writing and socialising. Katy has a cat named Feargal, she loves coffee and hates writing bios.

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  1. “Masturbation is having sex with someone you really love.”

    Gotta give your waifus some love! Like that.

  2. Bailey Henderson

    Okay that is all rlly good but what if your 14….your not going to walk into the super market and buy some lube

  3. I’m13and I real want Zoe the sex doll

  4. It is COMPLETELY WRONG to say this to men: “don’t judge yourself too harshly if you’re aroused by unusual visual stimulus.”

    Most porn for men portrays women in humiliating situations where they are feeling pain and certainly never enjoying it!!! Lots of porn today is filled with aggression towards women, and to say to men and boys that it is OK for them to enjoy being aroused by a humiliated woman in pain… by aggressiveness towards women is only going to turn men into psychopaths…if they are not already!!!!

    How can you say that “unusual visual stimulus” is good when you know that most of it is degrading to women!!! And you are a woman yourself saying this!! It’s ludicrous and rather disturbing to hear a woman say that!!

    Your not a psychologist or sex therapist…that’s obvious! Maybe you should study psychology where you learn that the subconscious doesn’t know the difference, so for boys and men to enjoy this kind of porn is not good for them, for society, and even worse for women and a lot worse for girls to see this kind of porn..it’s all over the internet…it’s degrading, humiliating, depressing, and down right demoralizing for women and girls to have to live with the idea that men love to see women being horrendously hurt, physically and emotionally!!!

    Men and boys using this kind of porn will become insensitive towards women, uncaring for women’s issues, not to mention more selfish, AND a lot more likely to become aggressive to women in real life!!! I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump and other sexual harassers grew up with this kind of porn!!!

    I am a FATHER and I do not want my son to use this kind of porn and I feel awful at the thought of my daughters seeing that…it breaks my heart!! There are erotic movies and porn that are decent and respectful of women, that also include women’s pleasure–that is what you should be promoting….specially as a WOMAN that you are!!!!

    C’MON KATY, you have written other good articles, but this makes me wonder how they allowed you to publish such a misleading article as this one!!!!!

  5. Some of my favorites are:
    1) use the peel of a very ripe raw plantain (the fruit bigger than a banana that is fried) directly on your penis. A little messy but worth it!!! As much as you can, try to squeeze out the fruit instead of cutting the peel, so you have a nice “sleeve.”
    2) place a nonlubricated condom (I like the “Joe Lube” or “Atlas” brands) over your penis and use corn starch or talc (and even a little baking soda) on the outside of the condom. Great for anyone, but especially older circumcised guys for whom too much direct stimulation is painful and for younger guys who cum to quickly.
    3) If you have an extra sensitive penis, use item #2 above, AND put a lubricant or old cum inside the nonlubricated condom.
    4) especially for younger guys, lie in the tub and let only a (gentle) shower spray stimulate the penis, hands off! If you can let only the shower spray take you to ejaculation/climax all the way through, you will have a very intense, prolonged experience.
    5) order a silver bullet vibrator online (I like the double to use simultaneously anally or on my balls) and place/secure it touching the frenulum or (for more longevity) the top of penis either inside a condom or under the elastic band of a jock strap. Like the shower spray method, try to get ejaculation/climax without using the hands–extra intense

  6. I use a small blanket that I keep under my bed so it’ll stay cold. Then, I pull it out and hump it on my bed while I’m still in my shorts. It’s amazing, much better feeling than lube. But it’s probably hard to find a small blanket with that material that stays cold. Ive actually had that blanket since I was a baby, but now I only use it for the purpose of masturbation. It’s a red blanket that says “LXNX SERVICES”. It only works for me when it’s cold, though. Trust me, you need to try this.

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