Mastering Male Masturbation
Once upon a time, touching yourself was demonized as a shameful act associated with being wicked or mentally infirm; people were told that it would result in blindness or hairy palms. Now however, we know different: masturbation has much less stigma attached to it, and through sex education, we now know that not only is masturbation normal, it’s actually healthy for you.
And while sex educators continue breaking down the stigma around self-pleasure, there are still many who were given no instruction about why — or even how — we masturbate. In order to lend a hand (pun not intended) to the matter, we decided to try our hand (pun fully intended) at explaining male masturbation and clearing up some misconceptions.
Why Do Men Masturbate?
Many young men discover self-pleasure before they are even able to articulate what they’re doing and why, supported by widespread but erroneous characterizations of men as sex-obsessed auto-erotic automatons.
So what’s the purpose of masturbation? It must serve some purpose, because we’re not the only creatures to do it. Most mammals masturbate in one way or another: for bonobos masturbation is social. For a dog to grind on a pillow is a form of masturbation; the dog knows the pillow is not another dog. In all of us is the biological compulsion to share our DNA. The purpose of masturbation is not only responding to the urge to procreate, but also to familiarize ourselves with our own reproductive processes. That’s the biological purpose, but that’s slightly different from the reasons for masturbation.
We could describe the reason for masturbating as simply for the enjoyment of sensual touch and climax. That alone is a as good a reason to masturbate as any, but there are several other reasons why male masturbation is such a good thing:
- Masturbating can help you avoid premature ejaculation. By learning your body’s responses and cues during solo play, it can help you become more aware of them (and thus able to exert control over them) during partnered play.
- You can reduce the chances of developing prostate cancer. There are a number of reasons to massage your prostate and ways to pleasure your prostate, but good prostate health might be the best benefit of them all. Masturbating releases seminal fluid from the prostate, effectively flushing it out. Having stagnant semen build up in your prostate can, if left unchecked, lead to genital pain, symptoms of erectile dysfunction, frequent nighttime urination and possibly prostate cancer.
- Masturbation is a healthy and effective substitute for sleeping aids if you suffer from insomnia.
- Masturbation is an easy (and enjoyable) way to decrease stress or tension. Among the very many health benefits of orgasms is the release of ‘feel-good’ endorphins.
Masturbation & Porn
The idea that it’s only men and not women look at sexually graphic material (videos or magazines) is patently untrue. Both sexes rely on pornography in order to stimulate their brains and become aroused, but whether that entails watching porn or reading erotica, it’s important to contextualize fantasy-fulfillment as simply that: indulging in a fantasy.
Some of the images or stories that arouse us do so because they represent a taboo, and may or may not indicate a fetish that the person actually wants to act out. Basically, you’re not defined by what you masturbate to. Enjoy yourself.
Male Masturbation in a Nutshell
Male masturbation usually involves gripping one’s penis in the dominant hand and exerting comfortable pressure in a swift up and down motion. This is the typical way, but not the only way. There are a number of ways to masturbate that can be experimented with.
Experiment with different speeds and pressures — and avoid the ‘death grip’ method of masturbating — by shifting the hold of your fingers, or using your non-dominant hand. It may require some conscious effort compared to your usual masturbating method, but having more than one way to climax on your own is a good repertoire to develop.
While masturbating, use your other hand to caress your body: abdomen, inner thighs, neck, shoulders … while not strictly leading to orgasm, thrilling secondary erogenous zones can help you focus on the pleasure of the act.
Train yourself to prolong pleasure and manage your ejaculation, try stopping right before you orgasm in order to practice ‘edging’. It can help with premature ejaculation and might be a good technique to try alone before testing it out during partnered sex!
Solo Sex Accessories
Personal moisturizers and lubricants make just about every sexual situation better. Fact. During masturbation they facilitate skin-on-skin rubbing without friction, and they are specifically meant for your sensitive areas, making them infinitely more practical than hand lotion.
Use a vibrating cock ring to add some new sensations to solo sex. Get acquainted with the vibations and gentle constriction of a vibrating penis ring such as TOR™ 2, which is one of the most popular sex toys designed for men.
Masturbation sleeves are everywhere now, and for good reason: they’re awesome. Once a punchline in sex circles, the demand for masturbation sleeves is huge, and we are all for it. You won’t know how great they are until you this Hi-Tech male masturbator.
Try sonic sensations for a change. While a majority of masturbation sleeves on the market are for thrusting and jerking, there do exist some motorized ones that will tickle your penis with vibrations. However for the most resonant kind of pleasure, try a sonic sensation instead. A high-tech masturbation sleeve like the LELO F1S is one the vanguard of the most advanced type of pleasure, with Sensonic™ technology that delivers sonic pulses that resonate all throughout your penile tissue and trust us when we say that soon, most toys out there will be following its example.
Masturbation doesn’t always have to be a solo endeavor. Masturbating with a partner rather than engaging in penetrative sex — AKA mutual masturbation — can be just as rewarding with regards to pleasure and will make it clear to you and your partner how you both like to be touched.
Masturbation & Prostate Massage
Of course, the penis is not the only pleasure-packed part of the male anatomy. Just as women can enjoy the sensations surrounding anal sex and play, many men enjoy stimulation of the opening or just within, with a finger, or a vibrator. But, it’s a few inches higher where intense orgasm can be made possibly―through prostate massage.
Some men claim that their orgasm is up to 33% more intense when they massage their prostate, and if you use a massager such as LOKI™ Wave (which uses WaveMotion™ to curl back and forth against your prostate to mimic manual massage) you may be able to achieve a hands-free orgasm!
So, in Conclusion…
Masturbation is true self-love and if you take the time to explore it, you’ll discover more enjoyment and confidence when you’re with a partner. When you know exactly what you want, then you can show your partner how you want to be touched!
Colin Hanna is a Volonté contributor and freelance writer who lives in Shanghai, China with his wife. He’s written extensively about sex and human sexuality for LELO since 2010.