Mastering Male Masturbation

Once upon a time, touching yourself was demonized as a shameful act associated with being wicked or mentally infirm; people were told that it would result in blindness or hairy palms. Now however, we know different: masturbation has much less stigma attached to it, and through sex education, we now know that not only is masturbation normal, it’s actually healthy for you.

And while sex educators continue breaking down the stigma around self-pleasure, there are still many who were given no instruction about why — or even how —  we masturbate. In order to lend a hand (pun not intended) to the matter, we decided to try our hand (pun fully intended) at explaining male masturbation and clearing up some misconceptions.

Male Masturbation Tips

Why Do Men Masturbate?

Many young men discover self-pleasure before they are even able to articulate what they’re doing and why, supported by widespread but erroneous characterizations of men as sex-obsessed auto-erotic automatons.

So what’s the purpose of masturbation? It must serve some purpose, because we’re not the only creatures to do it. Most mammals masturbate in one way or another: for bonobos masturbation is social. For a dog to grind on a pillow is a form of masturbation; the dog knows the pillow is not another dog. In all of us is the biological compulsion to share our DNA. The purpose of masturbation is not only responding to the urge to procreate, but also to familiarize ourselves with our own reproductive processes. That’s the biological purpose, but that’s slightly different from the reasons for masturbation.

We could describe the reason for masturbating as simply for the enjoyment of sensual touch and climax. That alone is a as good a reason to masturbate as any, but there are several other reasons why male masturbation is such a good thing:

  • Masturbating can help you avoid premature ejaculation. By learning your body’s responses and cues during solo play, it can help you become more aware of them (and thus able to exert control over them) during partnered play.
  • You can reduce the chances of developing prostate cancer. There are a number of reasons to massage your prostate and ways to pleasure your prostate, but good prostate health might be the best benefit of them all. Masturbating releases seminal fluid from the prostate, effectively flushing it out. Having stagnant semen build up in your prostate can, if left unchecked, lead to genital pain, symptoms of erectile dysfunction, frequent nighttime urination and possibly prostate cancer.
  • Masturbation is a healthy and effective substitute for sleeping aids if you suffer from insomnia.
  • Masturbation is an easy (and enjoyable) way to decrease stress or tension. Among the very many health benefits of orgasms is the release of ‘feel-good’ endorphins.

Masturbation & Porn

The idea that it’s only men and not women look at sexually graphic material (videos or magazines) is patently untrue. Both sexes rely on pornography in order to stimulate their brains and become aroused, but whether that entails watching porn or reading erotica, it’s important to contextualize fantasy-fulfillment as simply that: indulging in a fantasy.

Some of the images or stories that arouse us do so because they represent a taboo, and may or may not indicate a fetish that the person actually wants to act out. Basically, you’re not defined by what you masturbate to. Enjoy yourself.

Male Masturbation in a Nutshell

Male masturbation usually involves gripping one’s penis in the dominant hand and exerting comfortable pressure in a swift up and down motion. This is the typical way, but not the only way. There are a number of ways to masturbate that can be experimented with.

Experiment with different speeds and pressures — and avoid the ‘death grip’ method of masturbating — by shifting the hold of your fingers, or using your non-dominant hand. It may require some conscious effort compared to your usual masturbating method, but having more than one way to climax on your own is a good repertoire to develop.

While masturbating, use your other hand to caress your body: abdomen, inner thighs, neck, shoulders … while not strictly leading to orgasm, thrilling secondary erogenous zones can help you focus on the pleasure of the act.

Train yourself to prolong pleasure and manage your ejaculation, try stopping right before you orgasm in order to practice ‘edging’. It can help with premature ejaculation and might be a good technique to try alone before testing it out during partnered sex!

Solo Sex Accessories

Personal moisturizers and lubricants make just about every sexual situation better. Fact. During masturbation they facilitate skin-on-skin rubbing without friction, and they are specifically meant for your sensitive areas, making them infinitely more practical than hand lotion.

Use a vibrating cock ring to add some new sensations to solo sex. Get acquainted with the vibations and gentle constriction of a vibrating penis ring such as TOR™ 2, which is one of the most popular sex toys designed for men.

Masturbation sleeves are everywhere now, and for good reason: they’re awesome. Once a punchline in sex circles, the demand for masturbation sleeves is huge, and we are all for it. You won’t know how great they are until you this Hi-Tech male masturbator.

Try sonic sensations for a change. While a majority of masturbation sleeves on the market are for thrusting and jerking, there do exist some motorized ones that will tickle your penis with vibrations. However for the most resonant kind of pleasure, try a sonic sensation instead. A high-tech masturbation sleeve like the LELO F1s is one the vanguard of the most advanced type of pleasure, with Sensonic™ technology that delivers sonic pulses that resonate all throughout your penile tissue and trust us when we say that soon, most toys out there will be following its example.

Mutual Masturbation

Masturbation doesn’t always have to be a solo endeavor. Masturbating with a partner rather than engaging in penetrative sex — AKA mutual masturbation — can be just as rewarding with regards to pleasure and will make it clear to you and your partner how you both like to be touched.

Masturbation & Prostate Massage

Of course, the penis is not the only pleasure-packed part of the male anatomy. Just as women can enjoy the sensations surrounding anal sex and play, many men enjoy stimulation of the opening or just within, with a finger, or a vibrator. But, it’s a few inches higher where intense orgasm can be made possibly―through prostate massage.

Some men claim that their orgasm is up to 33% more intense when they massage their prostate, and if you use a massager such as LOKI™ Wave (which uses WaveMotion™ to curl back and forth against your prostate to mimic manual massage) you may be able to achieve a hands-free orgasm!

So, in Conclusion…

Masturbation is true self-love and if you take the time to explore it, you’ll discover more enjoyment and confidence when you’re with a partner. When you know exactly what you want, then you can show your partner how you want to be touched!

Written by: Colin Hanna

Colin Hanna is a Volonté contributor and freelance writer who lives in Shanghai, China with his wife. He's written extensively about sex and human sexuality for LELO since 2010.


  1. “Masturbation is having sex with someone you really love.”

    Gotta give your waifus some love! Like that.

  2. Bailey Henderson

    Okay that is all rlly good but what if your 14….your not going to walk into the super market and buy some lube

  3. It is COMPLETELY WRONG to say this to men: “don’t judge yourself too harshly if you’re aroused by unusual visual stimulus.”

    Most porn for men portrays women in humiliating situations where they are feeling pain and certainly never enjoying it!!! Lots of porn today is filled with aggression towards women, and to say to men and boys that it is OK for them to enjoy being aroused by a humiliated woman in pain… by aggressiveness towards women is only going to turn men into psychopaths…if they are not already!!!!

    How can you say that “unusual visual stimulus” is good when you know that most of it is degrading to women!!! And you are a woman yourself saying this!! It’s ludicrous and rather disturbing to hear a woman say that!!

    Your not a psychologist or sex therapist…that’s obvious! Maybe you should study psychology where you learn that the subconscious doesn’t know the difference, so for boys and men to enjoy this kind of porn is not good for them, for society, and even worse for women and a lot worse for girls to see this kind of’s all over the internet…it’s degrading, humiliating, depressing, and down right demoralizing for women and girls to have to live with the idea that men love to see women being horrendously hurt, physically and emotionally!!!

    Men and boys using this kind of porn will become insensitive towards women, uncaring for women’s issues, not to mention more selfish, AND a lot more likely to become aggressive to women in real life!!! I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump and other sexual harassers grew up with this kind of porn!!!

    I am a FATHER and I do not want my son to use this kind of porn and I feel awful at the thought of my daughters seeing that…it breaks my heart!! There are erotic movies and porn that are decent and respectful of women, that also include women’s pleasure–that is what you should be promoting….specially as a WOMAN that you are!!!!

    C’MON KATY, you have written other good articles, but this makes me wonder how they allowed you to publish such a misleading article as this one!!!!!

    • Dude. I’m a woman. I watch porn. There’s tons of kinds out there. Some are in ways I might feel degrading, or dumb, or just not my cup of tea, but I certainly don’t kink shame. Just as easily I find woman on woman, POV, oral, anal, etc etc etc that excited me depending on my mood. If you think women don’t enjoy some of those scenarios, you might want to expand your horizons. I’ve certainly been in moods where I feel like taking on multiple partners. Does not mean I’m not going to enjoy it or that it would make me feel inferior in any way. I personally don’t enjoy being tied up, but I am definitely not a submissive person. I say, check yourself sparky. If all you watch is bdsm, look outside the 50 shades (which in my opinion is not good erotica) box. And if you think you’re going to tell a sub that they’re being degraded and not enjoying it, I say you better educate yourself. You seem to not understand a lot that’s out there in the world.

  4. Some of my favorites are:
    1) use the peel of a very ripe raw plantain (the fruit bigger than a banana that is fried) directly on your penis. A little messy but worth it!!! As much as you can, try to squeeze out the fruit instead of cutting the peel, so you have a nice “sleeve.”
    2) place a nonlubricated condom (I like the “Joe Lube” or “Atlas” brands) over your penis and use corn starch or talc (and even a little baking soda) on the outside of the condom. Great for anyone, but especially older circumcised guys for whom too much direct stimulation is painful and for younger guys who cum to quickly.
    3) If you have an extra sensitive penis, use item #2 above, AND put a lubricant or old cum inside the nonlubricated condom.
    4) especially for younger guys, lie in the tub and let only a (gentle) shower spray stimulate the penis, hands off! If you can let only the shower spray take you to ejaculation/climax all the way through, you will have a very intense, prolonged experience.
    5) order a silver bullet vibrator online (I like the double to use simultaneously anally or on my balls) and place/secure it touching the frenulum or (for more longevity) the top of penis either inside a condom or under the elastic band of a jock strap. Like the shower spray method, try to get ejaculation/climax without using the hands–extra intense

  5. I use a small blanket that I keep under my bed so it’ll stay cold. Then, I pull it out and hump it on my bed while I’m still in my shorts. It’s amazing, much better feeling than lube. But it’s probably hard to find a small blanket with that material that stays cold. Ive actually had that blanket since I was a baby, but now I only use it for the purpose of masturbation. It’s a red blanket that says “LXNX SERVICES”. It only works for me when it’s cold, though. Trust me, you need to try this.

  6. Mike you are completely wrong you are obviously a hyper sensitive millennial hopefully your kids won’t wind up like you. I think you need to rub one out of your sandy vagina and leave the author of this article alone because what you hyper sensitive snowflakes don’t understand is that the author is trying to offer other solutions and give advice I think that just because your probably a closet rapist does not mean you can blame porn for your mistakes our parent should explain that being aggressive to women is wrong. But maybe your not a rapist maybe it is your child but that’s no reason to blame porn, maybe look into your own parenting. You opinionated pieces of crap make me sick.

  7. My favorite is the Lelo Soraya with the small vibrating arm against the frenulum and the large vibrating Portion against my shaft. OMG.

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