With summer heat behind us, we have just a few golden weeks when the weather isn’t crazy hot, but hasn’t yet pushed us to seek refuge in sweaters and seasonally-appropriate lattes. Here are a few tips for making most of this bittersweet month – or any time you want to get the heck out of the house – with your loved one in your arms.
IN THE CAR
Body-generated steam won’t fog up the windows for about seven minutes, so before you get to backseat business, shut a shirt or towel into the top corners of each back seat door, creating two makeshift curtains. However, the sun is still taking its sweet time to set, so make sure you’re well-hidden by darkness, and aren’t in an area where people are likely to walking around to enjoy the mild evening.
AT THE BEACH
While high season at the beach is over, there will be a few sun-seeking stragglers if you’re lucky enough to live by the beach. After sunset, look for a spot of beach providing cover via rocks or sand dunes and refrain from using any other position than the spoon position. Wearing baggy cover ups with not much under lets everyone’s hands wander unrestricted, but lets you look as innocent as can be if you need to suddenly play it cool.
IN THE POOL
As condoms are rather ineffective underwater (not to mention all the other un-fun things that can happen if you have sex underwater), we recommend incorporating a raft to keep both you and your odds of sexual success afloat. In the shallow end of the pool, lie on the raft and have your partner enter you from the standing position. If they needs extra leverage, move the raft toward the ledge of the pool. For added waves of pleasure, invite a waterproof bullet vibrator like HONI 2 to your pool party.
IN A PUBLIC PARK
When it comes to public parks, size matters. The bigger, more vegetated the park, the better, but don’t rely solely on Mother Nature for cover. Bring a variety of blankets for both warmth and privacy. In an isolated or forested area, get in between the blankets in the spoon position. Even if interlopers get curious from afar, it will appear you two are innocently cuddling.
If that still sounds too risqué, you can tease and please your partner with an app-controlled sex toy; the only thing that might make it seem like you are doing more than innocently playing a game on your phone are your partner’s squeals and moans!
ON THE PLANE
Don’t expect your admission into the mile-high club to be an easy (or comfortable) one. The only sane way to pull off sex in an airplane is on a long, overseas flight after dinner when the lights go down, and everyone reclines to sleep. One-by-one, sneak to the plane’s rear bathroom and make it quick. As a precaution, bring an air sickness bag along with you, so if there’s any knocking, you can pretend that one of you is sick, and the other is just being a caring partner.
Having sex in the bedroom all the time is like eating at home all the time—you know what you’re going to get, you’ve have it a thousand times, and it does little more than fulfill a primitive, biological need. However, when you get out and taste new places, you diversify your pallet, broaden your horizons and treat yourself to an experience worth boasting about.