Sexy dreams can be quite hot and it seems like a safe bet to say that everybody has had at least one sex-charged dream that left them shaky, hard, wet, and/or just super horny. Dreams offer us a peek through the keyhole of our unconscious self and, whether you regard them as some irrelevant TV-program of the mind, or you give them special significance, things can and do get freaky in the slumber-zone. Lucid dreams are a special type of dreams that imply a certain level of awareness of the process and can give us an opportunity to explore the erotic subconscious. Or, of course, they might just be a fun and sexy way to play with your mind.
What is lucid dreaming?
It happens whenever we are having a dream in which we are actively aware that we are having one. That does not necessarily imply we have full control over a dream and in fact it rarely does. Also, the level of pleasantness might vary. Those dreams might occur naturally or they might be induced, and even when they occur naturally, there are factors that might promote the frequency and likelihood of their occurrence. For some people, like myself, lucid dreaming happens very often and, as a matter of fact, most of my dreams are lucid. This often allows me to control my fear in nightmarish settings but for some reason, possibly connected to the tendency to dream lucidly, I also sometimes tend to wake-up from my dreams with a feeling of not being completely woke and have to gradually shake the oneiric qualities off the reality. For some spiritual seekers, dreams, especially lucid ones, are a big deal and entire mystic disciplines have been constructed around them, like the tantric dream yoga of Tibet.
What is sex like in a lucid dream?
Knowing that you dream is not the same thing as being the director of that movie. Just like any dream, the only thing that is certain in a lucid dream is that it might go in any direction. When things go well, you might find yourself in a perfect setting; imagine, for example, making love with a person you are madly in love with in warm shallow sea. Every touch and every kiss feel like the real thing and all you want to do is forget that you are dreaming and stay immersed in the moment forever. Or you might have a safe space to explore erotic fantasies you might not dare to live through in real life – perhaps a crazy fetish orgy, or rape fantasy; which studies prove to be one of the most prevailing female sexual fantasies even though no sane person would ever desire to be raped in reality.
What might go wrong?
Sometimes, however, you try to initiate sex with your dream characters and, not unlike the real world, you get rejected. The other times your proposal goes smoothly or you might even get invited to have sex with them, but then things get really weird and, for instance, you might realize you are doing it in a crowded room filled with a strange combination of people from your past who are judging your performance… or your partner morphs into your family member, or boss, or high-school teacher and your dream-self wonders shamefully what it is they are doing with their life. The moral of the story is that the iceberg of our mind is full of bizarre things once you dig into the massive part that hides under the conscious surface. And frustration might be a great part of it – so even if everything works out great and you end up having some mind-blowing sex with literally the person of your dreams, you are very likely to wake up when it gets real good. You might have noticed that orgasms in dreams occur on occasions that are much more scarce than the sex act itself. And no amount of lucid dream training is guaranteed to change that fact. Some people, again myself included, are just anorgasmic in their dreams. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t get very fun and sexy. If you are lucky and have a real partner next to you, your dream sex might progress into a hot real-world act. Some of the best sex encounters of my life happened by natural progression from the sleeping state into a great late night fuck.
How to induce lucid dreaming?
There are many techniques to induce lucid dreams; some are more complicated and require dedicated and focused practice, but some are strikingly simple and relatively easy to perform efficiently. One of the easiest is known by the acronym FILD or Finger Induced Lucid Dream. The technique uses alternate movements of index and middle finger (preferably using your dominant hand) to obscure the border between the reality and hypnagogic state, which is basically the intro to the dream. A movement, which is like playing a piano or finger drumming, must first be refined almost to the point of being non-existent. Instead of moving your fingers, you eventually get to the point of thinking about moving them. Then you set your alarm-clock to a time you know you’ll be deeply asleep, let’s say 4 am. After it goes off, you lie perfectly immobile while performing only the subtlest possible finger routine. You do that for some time while performing an occasional reality check technique (simplest of which is just asking yourself if you are awake). It might take a few weeks of practice but eventually you will be able to wake up within your dream. The important part is to give up if the exercise doesn’t succeed before it starts to wake you up. Instead, if you still want to try that night, you can set the alarm clock to an hour or two later. And for the erotic part, the most often used technique includes abstaining from any sexual activity for a prolonged period while exposing yourself to erotic literature or images right before you go to sleep and trying to visualize making love just as you are falling asleep.