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Top Turn-Ons: Women’s Sexual Fantasies Laid Bare

Whether they’re mined deep inside the imagination; or fragments of a memory skewed over time; or simply inexplicable, involuntary desire, sexual fantasies offer a creative outlet for the mind to wander like no other. Nothing if not sexually-motivated, daydreaming about sex  is something each and every one of us gets up to. Indeed, those pleasurable erotic distractions that get you feeling all tingly inside aren’t just normal; they’re universal!

Women's fantasies Revealed

And that, we’re sure you’ll agree can only be a good thing: the imagination offers limitless scope for exploring our sexuality, discovering what turns us on and gets us aroused, and pushing boundaries, all within the confines and privacy of a fantasy. Erotic daydreaming can even give license to the taboo, minus, of course, the weighty repercussions of reality. Simply put, when it comes to fantasies, anything – yes, anything – goes.

He Said, She Said

Nonetheless, there are one or two subtle differences in the way men and women fantasize about sex. Male fantasies, for example, tend to focus more on the visual, whilst women dream about more the emotional (not necessarily romantic) sensation.

Research tells us that, broadly speaking, female fantasies fall into two main categories: romantic and tender, and fiery and fervent. Equally sexy, equally valid, here’s a rundown of the most widely-dreamt sexual daydreams out there…

Men's Sexual Fantasies

Sensual States

The Great Outdoors

The imagination takes us to all kinds of far-flung places, and dreaming about sex outside of the bedroom  is a top fantasy for many a hot-blooded female.

Whilst the location may vary, when it comes to sensual settings, women tend to fantasize most about al fresco lovemaking. It could be on a beach, the rhythm of lapping waves matching that of our lovers themselves; midst the rustling of leaves, deep inside a dense forest; or perhaps our lucky lady and her even luckier partner, find themselves marking their space in a field of swaying grass.

Yeah: ouch.

Such imaginary idylls aren’t, of course, every woman’s cup of tea, and her mind may equally drift to floodlit car parks; restaurant bathrooms; or perhaps the back row of a darkened movie theater… That’s the thing about fantasies: they’re wonderfully, pleasurably, deliciously unique.

Good Things Come in Threes

Next, the threesome: the go-to fantasy for men and women alike, no matter the permutation of bodies to enjoy.

Whatever their sexual orientation, loads of ladies dream about sharing their man – or, indeed, any man – with another woman. Why? Well, why not! She may be categorically hetero, but not even straight girls are wholly immune to the undeniable allure of a smooth, curved body, not to mention that intimate female knowledge of what just feels good.

But, then again, who doesn’t want to be the center of attention? Two guys working in the most tantalizing of tandems to fulfill her every desire… It’s hot stuff, and a top fantasy for many.

A Man in Uniform

Ah, who doesn’t love a man in uniform? A cliché it may well be, but also an undeniably hot one for several reasons…

Number one: assuming said attire isn’t that of, say, a cuddly team mascot, chances are he looks good – smart, put-together and neat. Disheveling him presents a lot of fantasy fun, trust us.

Second: a man in uniform may represent someone heroic – a firefighter, a cop or maybe a soldier. So, he’s brave, fearless and a protector… need we say more?

Finally, the idea that our lustful lady could divert said superman from whatever his very important duties may be – fighting crime, saving the innocent, battling fires – is a huge turn-on, not to mention ego boost extraordinaire.

For similar reasons, celebrities and even politicians are just as likely an object for many a female fantasy, be it for their perceived glamour, unattainable status or sheer influence.

Rampant Reveries

An Unknown Entity…

Guys and girls both fantasize about unbridled lovemaking with a stranger. Perhaps they lock eyes on the commute home, sharing an unspoken and intimate agreement of passions ahead. Maybe they find each other in the din of bar, silently connecting and disappearing into the night. Or who knows, maybe it really is that hot electrician sent out to, ahem, fix her fuses?

Sex with a beautiful stranger presents a world of possibilities for all things taboo, for everything we’re told with an all too depressing frequency that ‘nice’ girls don’t do. Because here’s the thing: for all the previously unimaginable strides society’s taken in terms of equality of the sexes, women are still, in certain circles, somehow expected to be less reckless, less carefree than men. Well, they’re not, and that’s precisely what makes this fantasy so tantalizing.

Master and Commander

Who amongst us doesn’t enjoy relinquishing responsibility once in a while? Of course, in reality, sex doesn’t come with instructions for guaranteed pleasure, but just imagine if it did: we’d follow them to the letter.

Now, let’s pretend those directives are delivered in a sexy, commanding growl and, well, what’s a girl to do? Submission can be very, very sexy.

As ever, this one works both ways and for many a woman, commanding her lover to cater to her every sexual whim is undeniably hot.

Clearly, this one may just call for some sexual role-playing  – think an impertinent student and her ultimately swayed professor; a handcuff-wielding cop dominating her very bad detainee; or even the temporary ‘ownership’ of a client over his prostitute.

One last thing: women are blessed with vivid imaginations, with or without the costume…

Explore Sexual Role Playing


‘Rape fantasy’: an oxymoron, right? Certainly, it’s an uncomfortable term, but one that crops up time and time again in the discussion of female fantasies.

Of course, this particular daydream involves none of the violence, none of the violation, nor the emotional pain of actual nonconsensual sex – rather, it taps into ideas of unchecked passion, involuntary desirability and perhaps, so-called sexperts tell us, buried guilt.

Fantasies bear neither rhyme nor reason to reality, and yet, the notion of being coerced or forcibly taken unleashes all kinds of taboo possibilities that once again, women are still told they shouldn’t ‘want’. After all, if you’re not given a voice, anything goes, right?

Right, to a degree: there’s nothing shameful about it, it’s a fantasy after all. Just do us a favor and lose the ‘R’ word – ‘Forceful Sex’ is a current preferred alternative, but we’d love to hear your suggestions.

Live the Dream

From the feasible to the downright frenzied, women’s fantasies run the whole gamut. Some hover within a tantalizing closeness to reality; while others should – and do – remain just that: an intimate fantasy, best confined to the realms of the imagination. That said, sharing your innermost desires with your partner can bring a whole lot of naughtiness to sex. Give it a try, and bring these most erotic of daydreams a step closer to reality!


About Donna Turner

Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelance writer who lives in San Francisco with her husband and two sons. Her work has appeared in Psychology Today, Go! Magazine (Australia) and is regularly featured in the San Francisco Herald.

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One comment

  1. “Yeah: ouch.”

    Crop circles are where we dunnit.


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