Top Turn-Ons: Women’s Common Sexual Fantasies Laid Bare

This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz.

Whether they’re mined deep inside the imagination; or fragments of a memory skewed over time; or simply inexplicable, involuntary desire, sexual fantasies offer a creative outlet for the mind to wander like no other. Nothing if not sexually-motivated, daydreaming about sex*  is something each and every one of us gets up to. Indeed, those pleasurable erotic distractions that get you feeling all tingly inside aren’t just normal; they’re practically universal!

Women’s Common Sexual Fantasies

And that, we hope you’ll agree can only be a good thing: the imagination offers limitless scope for exploring our sexuality, discovering what turns us on and gets us aroused, and pushing boundaries, all within the confines and privacy of a fantasy. Erotic daydreaming can even give license to the taboo, minus, of course, any weighty repercussions of reality. Many people fantasize about things they’d never actually want to do in real life and so simply put, when it comes to fantasies, anything – yes, anything – goes.

Sensual States

The Great Outdoors

The imagination takes us to all kinds of far-flung places, and dreaming about sex outside of the bedroom  is a fantasy for many a hot-blooded female.

Whilst the location may vary, when it comes to sensual settings, when you fantasize about al fresco lovemaking, it lets you indulge a naughtier, exhibitionist side of yourself without ever actually being in danger of being caught. It could be on a beach, the rhythm of lapping waves matching that of our lovers themselves; midst the rustling of leaves, deep inside a dense forest; or perhaps our lucky lady and her partner, find themselves marking their space in a field of swaying grass. The nice thing about these fantasies, unlike the reality, is there is no grass or sand up one’s private parts to worry about!

Such imaginary idylls aren’t, of course, every woman’s cup of tea, and her mind may equally drift to floodlit car parks; restaurant bathrooms; or perhaps the back row of a darkened movie theater… That’s the thing about fantasies: they’re wonderfully, pleasurably, deliciously unique.

Good Things Come in Threes

Next, the threesome: an extremely common fantasy for men and women alike, no matter the permutation of bodies to enjoy.

Whatever their sexual orientation, loads of ladies dream about adding another woman to the mix. Why? Well, why not! Many women identify as heterosexual but find themselves being turned on by the prospect of enjoying the attention of someone who has an intimate female knowledge of what just feels good.

But, then again, who doesn’t want to be the center of attention? Two guys working in the most tantalizing of tandems to fulfill her every desire… It’s hot stuff, and another titillating fantasy for many.

A Man in Uniform

Ah, who doesn’t love a man in uniform? A cliché it may well be, but also an undeniably hot one for several reasons.

Number one: chances are he looks good – smart, put-together and neat. Disheveling him presents a lot of fantasy fun, trust us.

Second: a man in uniform may represent someone heroic – a firefighter, a cop or maybe a soldier. So, he’s brave, fearless and a protector… need we say more?

Finally, the idea that our lustful lady could divert said superman from whatever his very important duties may be – fighting crime, saving the innocent, battling fires – can be a huge turn-on, not to mention ego boost extraordinaire.

For similar reasons, celebrities and even politicians are just as likely an object for many a female fantasy, be it for their perceived glamour, unattainable status or sheer influence.

Rampant Reveries

An Unknown Entity…

Have you ever found yourself fantasizing about sex with a stranger, someone whose face  (and body) you completely create in your imagination?  Perhaps they lock eyes on the commute home, sharing an unspoken and intimate agreement of passions ahead. Maybe they find each other in the din of bar, silently connecting and disappearing into the night. Or who knows, maybe it really is that hot electrician sent out to, ahem, fix her fuses?

Sex with a beautiful stranger presents a world of possibilities for all things taboo, for everything we’re told with an all too depressing frequency that ‘nice’ girls don’t do. Because here’s the thing: for all the previously unimaginable strides society’s taken in terms of equality of the sexes, women are still, in certain circles, somehow expected to be less reckless, less carefree than men. Not being so is precisely what makes this fantasy so tantalizing.

Master and Commander

Who among us doesn’t enjoy relinquishing responsibility once in a while? Of course, in reality, sex doesn’t come with instructions for guaranteed pleasure, but just imagine if it did: we’d follow them to the letter.

Now, let’s pretend those directives are delivered in a sexy, commanding growl and, well, what’s a girl to do? Submission can be very, very sexy.

As ever, this one works both ways and for many a woman, commanding her lover to cater to her every sexual whim is undeniably hot.

Clearly, this one may just call for some sexual role-playing  – think an impertinent student and her ultimately swayed professor; a handcuff-wielding cop dominating her very bad detainee; or even the temporary ‘ownership’ of a client over his prostitute.

One last thing: women are blessed with vivid imaginations, with or without the costume…

Live the Dream

From the feasible to the downright frenzied, women’s fantasies run the whole gamut—even if none of these scenarios tickle your fancy, it’s certain that whatever does is a fantasy enjoyed by more than just you. Some hover within a tantalizing closeness to reality; while others should – and do – remain just that: an intimate fantasy, best confined to the realms of the imagination. That said, sharing your innermost desires with your partner can bring a whole lot of naughtiness to sex. Give it a try, and perhaps you will find yourself bringing some of your most erotic of daydreams a step closer to reality!

*In this article, we are using the words sex and intercourse as synonymous, as is done in popular culture in general. However, we’d also like to acknowledge that most women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone and need some type of clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration.

Facts checked by:

Dr. Laurie Mintz

Dr. Laurie Mintz, Ph.D.Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., is a professor at the University of Florida, teaching Human Sexuality to hundreds of students a year. She has published over 50 research articles and is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Mintz also has maintained a private practice for over 30 years, working with individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. She is also an author and speaker, spreading scientifically-accurate, sex-positive information to enhance sexual pleasure.

Written by: Donna Turner

Donna Turner
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work frequently appears in the Journal of Sexology and Women’s Health Mag. She hosts intimacy seminars and is currently writing a book on love languages.

One comment

  1. “Yeah: ouch.”

    Crop circles are where we dunnit.

    j/k

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