Five Commandments to Follow This National Nude Day
It may not be your birthday, but it’s time to put on your birthday suit. Today we’re celebrating National Nude Day by going bare and exploring new things about our bodies. Joining a nudist colony isn’t the only way you can appreciate getting naked. Knock your socks off, and everything else, this National Nude Day by following these simple commandments.
Commandment 1 – Love Thyself
Have you ever avoided looking at your own body in the mirror? Don’t worry, you’re not at all alone. We’ve refined the art of comparison to every standard of “normalcy” we’ve come across, but the truth is – it’s time to deconstruct and unlearn these lame fallacies.
Our bodies are different. Our boobs are different. Our taste in Netflix shows is different. Who freaking cares! What’s important is that we stop putting ourselves down and start building ourselves up. If you ever find yourself thinking down the negative rabbit hole, try picturing a stop signal to cut yourself off from this unhealthy spiral. It can even help to stay distracted by calling a body positive friend, because we could all use a little TLC now and again anyway.
Self-love is the foundation to letting everything else in your life blossom and requires some “tending of your own garden.” A good first step to self-love is practicing body neutrality, which means you don’t have to love your body 100% of the time, but you don’t have to hate it either. Is there room for improvement? Always. Body confidence doesn’t come from achieving the ideal body, it comes from accepting the one you’ve already got. Plus, you are so much more than just a body. Anyone who disagrees can quite frankly kiss my bare ass.
Commandment 2 – Love Thy Vagina
Most of us have been in an emotionally abusive relationship with our vaginas for x amount of years. Don’t forget that you, yes you, wear the pants in this relationship. Take control of your genitals and get clit literal. There’s always room to refine your skills and get to know yourself better. Introversion is healthy, and so, so important.
Get out a mirror and look at it, like a game of genital show-and-tell. Focus less on the folds and crevices and more so on how this is a pearl in a treasure chest. Go ahead and Google other vaginas too so you can understand that not all of them look as “cute” as they do in pornos. You can even try masturbating in front of the mirror because A. it’s hot, B. it’s important to understand that there are very normal physical changes taking place down there, and C. It’s finally time to bridge the orgasm gap.
It’s your body, and your orgasm, so become responsible for your own pleasure. If you’re new to the sex toy game, check out some of the differences between a dildo and a vibrator and find out what gets your going. And if you’re looking for something a little more ambitious and exciting, check out this oral sex stimulator. It is clitorally mind-blowing. There’s even such a thing as naked yoga. Whatever it may be that you’re into, allow your mind and body to appreciate one another.
Commandment 3 – Love Thy Partner
While most of us like to think we don’t have intimacy or commitment issues, they are more common than we think. Do any of these sound like you: Dismissing someone immediately because of “no chemistry,” sleeping with someone too soon, feeling bored when your partner is doing everything right? These usually stem from a lack of self-worth, and overcoming that is an essential foundation before enjoying intimacy, since, for women especially, sleeping with someone releases an emotionally-bonding brain chemical.
There’s no better way to encourage intimacy than by getting naked with your partner. Physical touch and affection should be mutually enjoyable. Being in a relationship can also become habitual, so boost your bedroom confidence and suggest new things if you really want them. The sexual landscape is endless and you shouldn’t be afraid to initiate. Caution: things could get slippery when wet. Let’s face it – sex is basically a slip n’ slide with humans involved.
If you’re looking for ways to make getting naked fun, try skinny dipping, strip poker, or even all the kissing games out there that usually end with your clothes on the floor. Let’s face it, most of us would rather let people see us naked than witness our parallel parking skills (or lack thereof). Plus, getting naked these days is so… chic. You are basically a real-life Carrie Bradshaw.
Commandment 4 – Love Thy Rest
We all know that sleep is important, but are we making it a priority? Neglecting this pillar of health affects so many aspects of your life. As much as we love to brag about how little sleep we’ve gotten and how much coffee we drink to make up for it, sleep is linked to so many important things like memory, self-esteem, weight-loss, inflammation, stress, mental and emotional health – the list goes on.
So, how much sleep is enough? The National Sleep Foundation conducted a two-year study to find out. What they discovered is that it really depends on the person. Of course, 7-9 hours is a general rule of thumb, but it’s important to ask yourself the following questions: Are you happy on seven hours of sleep? Or does it take you nine to reach high gear? Do you have any health issues related to sleep? Are you experiencing sleep problems? Find out what works for you.
Some tips to making sleep a priority include sticking to a regular sleep schedule, exercising every day, practicing a bedtime ritual, and turning off all electronics and artificial lights overnight. Be so good at sleeping that you can do it with your eyes closed. Did we mention that masturbation helps you sleep better? And that there are such things as sleep orgasms? Have fun with that.
Commandment 5 – Love Thy Sex Toys
A sex toy is simply a tool for better pleasure. It doesn’t replace your partner, in fact, we encourage incorporating it into partner play. Sex is not the same as love, but it can act as an opportunity for your lovers to learn how you like to receive pleasure. A recent study suggests that almost 80% of female sex toy owners have a vibrator, and trailing in popularity are dildos (60%), handcuffs (27%) and anal toys (16%). Sex toys are not as taboo as we think, and for good reason.
According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, sex lies among the other most basic physiological needs like food, water, breathing and sleep. The fact that we can augment the sensations of sex into pleasure at our fingertips is telling of our culture—we can create the world of our liking. We can adapt our environments to suit our needs and desires so that we can experience better gratification.
The rise in sex toy popularity doesn’t signify a deterioration of our societal morals, it offers a better understanding of it. Understanding what pleasures us is the foundation for experiencing pleasure with a partner, and ultimately a sense of freedom measured through a cultural barometer. I guess the ultimate question remains, are there any reasons to not get naked and play?
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.