Goodbye high school, hello adulthood!
Embarking on the college experience is both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. And if you’re brand new to the game, you’re in for one heck of a rollercoaster adventure (for the old-timers, you know what we’re talking about!).
Whichever phase of college you’re in though, the following tips will prove invaluable when it comes to your sex life. Because, let’s face it, YOYO (You’re Only Young Once).
With that, you can consider this your official guide to sexy, safe, and guilt-free college sex! Exciting times ahead, indeed.
Experimenting in College
Long are the days where being who you truly are is something to be embarrassed about. And while kids in high school love to bully, make fun of, and ridicule those who are different to them, college is all about discovering who you are, what and who you like, and enjoying it!
Individuality is cool in college!
So if you’ve always wanted to try a threesome – go for it! If you have bi-curious feelings, embrace them! If you’ve been hiding your sexual orientation or gender aspirations, let it out! Be you, unapologetically! College is the time for experimenting!
Places to “Do It”
If you live in a dorm and have a roommate, this may not be the best place to have naughty fun. It sucks, but it’s true.
For one, it’s kind of disrespectful. And two – those who you share a room with, or those who live near to you (picture the dorm room next door, and those staying directly above and below you) need not know the intimate details of your sex life (i.e. sex noises). It could lead to embarrassment, gossip, and rumors.
If you do feel comfortable doing it in your dorm room, and you’ve gotten the go-ahead from a roommate who’s often out, enjoy the heck out of it – at your own risk.
If you or your partner live alone off-campus, this is an ideal situation. If not, you could go for:
- A car (again, at your own risk as you could face legal issues)
- A cheap motel (or a fancy hotel if you can afford it)
- A very discrete public space.
Choosing a public space however also holds a big risk, as sex in public is illegal in many parts of the world. Do your research, and be extremely careful.
Then, preparing for your sexy fun…
A DIY One Night Stand Kit
In an ideal world, you’ll be ready for wild, crazy sex with whomever, at any given time. Sex that not only evokes passionate ecstasy, but also sex that doesn’t result in anything undesirable the next day.
But guess what? Having this kind of experience is actually within your power. And it’s so easy to prepare.
If you’re hoping to get lucky on a night out, ditch the clutch bag. It may look classy and it may match your outfit, but for the sake of good and stress-free sex, choose a purse that’s adequately-sized. In it, you will have:
- Flat shoes (if you’re wearing heels)
- A T-shirt or hoodie, and a pair of jeans (roll them up, they won’t take up that much space).
- Make-up remover wipes (and basic make-up if you fancy)
- A small deodorant or perfume (a tester perfume, for example)
- An external phone charger
Lucky for men, they need a lot less in order to experience a sexual adventure. You’ll need:
- Condoms, preferably in a cool, dry space. Don’t store a condom in your wallet or in your pocket, as heat and friction may compromise its quality. Instead, get one of those small metal tins (like the ones some breath mints come in) or a case for glasses. In this way, it has some breathing space and cannot overheat.
Men and Women:
Consider carrying one of those mini travel toothbrushes and toothpaste with you for minty freshness.
And when it comes to the walk of shame, try to avoid strutting the streets 30 minutes to one hour before the first class starts in the morning.
Better yet, if you time your exit so that it is during class time, you might be able to dodge anyone you know as well as loads of other people.
Now, it’s time to get down to business! Follow these seven tips, and enjoy your college sex experience while being safe…
7 Essential Tips to Doing College Sex Right
College is a time for young adults to develop and apply their critical thinking skills, exercise their new-found freedom, engage in problem solving, and expand their social networks. It’s also a time that’s usually fuelled with lots and lots of casual sex.
That, coupled with racing hormones, is a recipe for uninhibited, and sometimes careless, fun. Fear not however, these tips will help you to enjoy the ride(s), safely and sophisticatedly.
Have a lot of them. Not just in your nightstand or in the bathroom cupboard, but in every going out purse or on your person. The chances of going home with the cute guy/girl at the bar after flirting are high, and you definitely want to be prepared for it.
Drinking in large amounts is basically a prerequisite of going to college, granted, but try to do so in moderation. This is for a number of reasons:
- At college-going age, your body may still be getting used to the effects of copious amounts of alcohol. This could prove quite a challenge when it comes to knowing your limits.
- Getting too drunk often leads to bad decision making like unprotected sex, and can lead to regret, remorse, guilt, and perhaps even the spread of photos/videos of your sexual tryst.
- Getting too drunk could lead to dangerous situations, such as date rape and physical altercations.
- You may not remember the acts of the night before, nor how your sexual partner will react the next day, or what they’ll tell others.
- Governments worldwide have really begun cracking down on campus date rape cases. For that reason, it will be extremely difficult for the accused to defend themselves. Too much alcohol would only make this situation a lot worse.
What’s the moral of the story? Don’t get too drunk, it could change motives, and literally ruin lives.
3. Lube On-Hand
No one ever died from using too much lube, so why not make it a firework-worthy experience?
4. No Means No
Having great sex during college is all about feeling sexually satisfied, empowered, and happy. And before anything (we mean, anything!) happens, make sure both parties consent.
“Maybe” doesn’t mean yes, and “I’m not sure” doesn’t mean yes either. Yes means yes.
Additionally, you or your partner need not even give verbal consent for the message to be received, as body language can, too, tell a lot about a person’s feelings and experiences. Use your better judgment and respect the one you’re with.
And for those who find themselves pressured into having sex, or feel as though they’re not sure if they want to do it – listen to your gut.
Regret and guilt is an awful feeling, and it’s not as fleeting as the satisfaction you and or your partner may feel during your short-lived sexual experience. Sex is cool…when you both want it!
5. Don’t Go Straight for Gold
Someone older and/or more sexually experienced than you will likely tell you that sex gets better with a partner over time.
Stress-free sex during a one night stand can definitely be enjoyable, sure, so don’t doubt that. But, if you’re starting to see someone – in a relationship or ‘friends with benefits’ capacity, don’t expect the world to catch on fire the first time, and try not to get too kinky and crazy at first.
When you become more comfortable with someone, the foreplay naturally gets hotter, and your passionate meetings become more experimental. Start slow, and build up that sexual tension.
6. Mind the Crazies
While we don’t enjoy calling anyone ‘crazy’ you may want to do a little social media stalking or digging around about the person you’re planning to sex up.
If you get mixed up with someone who has bad intentions, or someone who gets bitter and revengeful if they’re dumped, they may resort to savage and criminal behaviour, like revenge porn.
7. Sex vs. Porno-Style Sex
Let’s be 100 percent crystal clear: (college) sex is not going to be like the porn you watch.
Your partner probably won’t be able to bend so ridiculously.
She may not swallow, and he might not go down on you until you scream with pure joy.
Not all women squirt, and not all men can refrain from coming after a few minutes.
Every guy doesn’t have a rocking six-pack, and every woman doesn’t have perky big breasts and a lady part that’s fully shaved and smooth.
That’s not real life, we’re sorry.
What is real life is having respect for your fellow human beings.
So, with that, we present… the girl/guy code.
This is an informal and friendly bit of advice that’ll keep you in the good books with your close friends, housemates, and peers.
Here are a few things to consider:
- Don’t sleep with your friend’s ex or someone that they’ve really got their eye on.
- Get the location of your friend if he or she is going on a first date, for safety reasons.
- Rescue your friend if they’re been annoyed, harassed, or hit on by someone they’re not interested in.
- Don’t let your friends walk home alone, especially women and drunk friends.
- Let your friend know if their partner is cheating on them.
- Siblings are off-limits (unless given the go-ahead)
- Always carry extra condoms in case of an emergency
- Don’t fight over a girl/guy
- Don’t leave your friend alone with someone if you feel they may be unsafe, or if they could be in harm’s way.
- Be a good wingwoman/wingman.
- Don’t let a friend wearing beer goggles go home with someone that they’ll regret.
- Be available for friends experiencing post-break up heartache.
And just for the lols, here are a couple of things you can look forward to during your college sex experience… not!
Things You’ll Only Experience During College Sex
- Twin Bed or Bunk Bed Sex: Two persons on one single bed, bodies intertwined in lust, and limbs hanging off the mattress…not fun.
- Being Exiled: When your roommate is getting it on with the cute blonde they spotted, you’ve got to wait patiently in the hallway or go out.
- 69: It’s really not that fun, let’s be honest.
- Communal Shower Sex: When trying to have a quickie in a shower where ten or more people have literally just been, and seeing pubes on the wall… grossness ensues.
- Bumping into Partners: Your 9 a.m. lecture with the person you bumped uglies with the night before. Cringe.
- Finding Sex-Friendly Locations: It’s hard, let’s just say that.
- Being Spotted During a Walk of Shame: Doing the ol’ walk of shame on campus means you’ll probably run into someone you know.
But on a more serious note, here are two important things to remember when it comes to college sex (and sex in general):
1. Honesty Hour
As hard as this may be, you should always be honest with your partner if you have any STI’s or if you’re living with HIV/AIDS.
In fact, in many places worldwide it is considered criminally and civilly illegal to have sex with someone without disclosing this information.
Laws aside, it’s unfair and dangerous to sleep with someone without letting them know. It’s sneaky, underhanded, and selfish. And while it is an awkward conversation to have – it is an absolutely necessary one.
2. Get Educated on Campus
Most (if not all) colleges provide easy access to one or more health centers.
Here, you’ll most likely have free condoms available to you, receive information about sexual health, be able to get support and be tested for STI’s, HIV/AIDS, and get a pregnancy test.
Additionally, familiarize yourself with campus security. Be sure to have their phone number in your phone, memorize it, and use it under any threatening or uncomfortable situations.
Also, source places of safety and public phones beforehand, should something happen to your mobile.
That concludes our super handsy, I mean handy, guide to sexy, safe and guilt-free college sex! Go forth, embrace your horniness, experiment and enjoy, but above all else – be safe!