Yes, No & Maybe So: The Sexy To-Do List You Should Fill Out Together

While getting to know the idiosyncratic facets of a new partner’s personality is half the fun of a new relationship, there is something to be said for coming right out and saying exactly what you would like – and would definitely not like – in bed.

Not only is establishing boundaries important for good bedroom communication and making sure both partners are happy in bed, discussing sex acts you’re interested in is, well, pretty darn sexy!

We’ve prepared something of a ‘sex worksheet’ for you to go over with your partner so you can discuss what you’re definitely interested in, not into at all, or even maybe interested in exploring in the future!

Now keep in mind that this list isn’t exhaustive, and not only should you but also you can add your own ideas, you should also go into detail about each one in your discussion. That ensures that all the specific why’s and when’s get addressed – think, yes you’re interested in being dominated, but only with specific aftercare, or you’re okay with spanking, but you’re not okay with anything that will leave a mark.

Otherwise, filling out this worksheet is as easy as grabbing your partner (or doing it solo then discussing) and picking ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ or ‘maybe so’ for every item!

  1. Sexting
  2. Dirty Talk
  3. Naughty Photo Sharing
  4. Watching Porn Together
  5. Mutual Masturbation
  6. Oral Sex – Giving
  7. Oral Sex – Receiving
  8. Fingering – Vaginal
  9. Fingering – Anal
  10. Rimming – Giving
  11. Rimming – Receiving
  12. Anal Sex
  13. Pegging
  14. Blindfolds 
  15. Gags
  16. Costumes
  17. Role Playing 
  18. Spanking – Giving 
  19. Spanking – Receiving
  20. Bondage – Tying Up
  21. Bondage – Being Tied Up
  22. Threesomes
  23. Swinging / Play Parties
  24. Outdoor Sex
  25. Temperature Play

As you can see, with such a basic point form list such as this, completing this with a partner will spark plenty of conversation, beyond the standard ‘safe word’ discussion that people associate with kinkier sex.

In fact, it’s important to treat this list as not only a starting off point for your expanded, personalized list creation, but one that serves to facilitate later conversations whenever you or your partner change your mind about what you’re okay with!

Written by: Katy Thorn

Katy Thorn
Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for writing about sex, sexuality, and all things rated R. She received her degree in Women’s Studies with a focus in Intersectionality at the University of California, Berkeley (Go Bears!). She has a cat named Yoko, drinks too much black coffee, and hates writing bios.

One comment

  1. In some cases filling out a form like this would be difficult, or at least I might have found it so. One of the topics you list is rimming. I’ve discovered I love to perform this act, but if I was asked in the cold light of day “would you like to push your tongue inside…” I’m sure the answer would have been along the lines of “hell no”, no matter how much I loved to perform orally on lady.
    Then one night while my tongue was a little further forward, I flicked my tongue around on her perineum and her reaction in the heat of the moment was amazing. The way her body moved and reacted made it obvious her body wanted to feel my tongue a little lower, and lower still. OMG just there!
    That night I discovered none of the downsides I’d have excepted and upsides I couldn’t have imagined. But neither of us could have predicted it. It took my wife years to come to terms with her body loving sensations her mind didn’t like when considered away from the heat of the moment.
    Of course not all such adventures are to be repeated. She likes very gentle spanking, more a sort of gentle rhythmic tapping. But once I spanked her a little harder and she clearly enjoyed the sensation, we never got near the stage of leaving marks and it quickly lead to a wild session., But once she’d come down from her release she said she’d not want to do that again.

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