Girls’ Night In: Sex Toy Parties

What are they?

No, it’s not the female equivalent of a circle-jerk.

Otherwise known as pillow talk or pleasure parties, and maybe even the secret thing they used to call “tupperware parties,” sex toy parties are fun and informative gatherings to learn about the latest and greatest personal companions that can do just about everything except take out the trash.

Sex Toy Parties

This isn’t about a kinky one-night-stand from the bar (although those are fun, too). Sex toy parties are often for monogamous women who use toys to enhance their experiences with their partners, and in general could learn a few new tips and tricks. Ranging anywhere from couples’ massagers, couples’ rings, and even massage candles, experiencing new things can bring us closer with our partners. But of course, toys are meant for solo play as well.

Common Toy Categories

There are a few general categories we can organize our treasure trunk of pleasure into.

For Women

For Men

BDSM

    • Bondage, blindfolds, handcuffs, whips & floggers, nipple clamps, teasers

Accessories

And SO much more. If you’re interested in sex toys but haven’t talked to your partner about it yet, check out some tips on how to introduce them into your relationship.

Becoming a Host

Not only are hosting sex parties fun, consulting can actually be a great side gig. There are quite a few companies out there that provide you with all the training and materials to get you going (My Secret Soiree, Pure Romance, Fantasia). It also helps if you have a natural curiosity and interest in sexual health as a prerequisite.

So, if the following sounds like you, you might want to give it a shot:

  • You enjoy throwing parties, bring out the champagne!
  • You’re a fan of sex toys yourself
  • You’re interested in helping people understand their body parts
  • You have badass friends that are just like you

Ice Breakers

It’s all about getting comfortable. Even though sex toys are just about as common as coffee makers in our homes, it can still be a little awkward when revealing our sexual wants and desires in front of strangers. A good tactic to breaking down this awkwardness is through humor.

Here are some fun ice breaker ideas:

  1. Name Game: Have everyone in the group think of a sexy adjective that starts with the same letter as their first name, which they will then be referred to for the rest of the night. Naughty Naomi, Frisky Fiona, Slutty Sara… the possibilities are endless and they help everyone learn each others’ names.
  2. Never Have I Ever: I’m sure most of us have played this game even in high school. Everyone begins by holding up five fingers. You go around in a circle and each person thinks of one thing they’ve never done before (ex. “Never have I ever had a threesome”). Anyone in the group who has puts down a finger until someone is eventually out. It doesn’t have to be dirty, but it always gets there quickly and sets the mood for the night.
  3. I Packed My Bag: This is a fun memorization game that can incorporate some items at the party. One person begins with “I packed my bag, and in it I put ___ (we’ll say a vibrator).” The next person repeats this phrase and adds an item, and so forth and so forth until a long list of sex related objects are listed.
    I packed my bag, and in it I put a vibrator, a butt plug, handcuffs, a candle, a penis ring, a dildo, and lube,” is more or less how this turns out.

If you have any other creative ideas, please comment them below!

Going Co-ed?

An international sex study from LELO found that the sex toy buying ratio between men and women is 50/50, which means that men are buying for their partners too – so why not invite them? This could be a fun opportunity to enlighten our guys and show them what we’re interested in. Plus, they no longer have to stress about that anniversary gift they’re getting you. Do note that there are a few companies that don’t allow men at these gatherings, however this trend seems to be changing.

Ready, set, go party plan!

Written by: Donna Turner

Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.

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